[Narrator]
"Hobo Johnson want Rhonda Rousey to be his dominatrix...
Jail teaches a man a lot about himself, and sometimes it's shit you didn't really want to know. But regardless, Mr. Johnson now knows he's a simple man. But also that he would enjoy a round of sadomasochism with Rhonda Rousey. It's that simple, not going to sugar coat it"

[Verse 1]
Rhonda Rousey is my dominatrix, and it's just me and her
While watching the departed in my father's basement
Come up with a broken shoulder blade that I won't fix for days
From a kinky arm bar that got twisted several ways
I'm on point, but you know we'll get the goal
From which they covet why they smoke things that smell like green, they're probably orange and
Unprotected funk up in the funk house
Get the funk out of my face before you get that funk kicked out
I'm a cross between Rick Astley and Rick James if Rick James made beats and spit and Astley's voice was the same, then that'd be me
Tell my mother that her son's about to blow up if he stops making songs about the lovers who won't love him back

[Refrain]
And to all the girls who won't love me back, um
If you guys are really nice and wanna get some sort of beverage that can be hot or cold then that'd be tight

[Verse 2]
I lose 10 pounds every time I like a girl, and
I've lost 60 pounds in the last 2 years
Do the math, that's 6 different girls I tried to get at who
Didn't really like me back
But it's whatever hoe, I mean whatever though
If she want it come and get it
Like Selina in a second if she want it in the back of a Corolla
No forget it go to the park to do work
Cuz my back seat's full of garbage and shirts
Never used a mattress, a hoarder girl would probably
Find that shit very attractive
[Verse 3]
I said hey miss do you need help trying to find
That ass and heart?
Cuz I'm a really nice guy
Kinda like a young Paul Blart
That's a Segway
To the next phase
To the next go
Influenced by N-Ron and L-Ron
And Alco-hol, haul it
Around in my car, vomit, get a DUI
I try to bat my eyes but
The gay cop don't think I'm fly
Downtown club it, ladies night
Seen shawty she was crazy right
So I approach like hey ma
What's your age and type?
She Just looked at me and said
You's a baby right
I told her
Shut up hoe, I'm a man

[Refrain]
And if you want bars come and get 'em
And if you want bars come and get 'em ah
[Verse 4]
Welcome, today's a great day to come play with us
Tell the rest of 'em they arrested 'em
They ain't do shit except like drink and
Do things like, well opium
And wake up it's a brand new day but
It's no different than the one lived before it
But don't fucking worry kid its okay
Just pray for 10,000 more of this shit, this shit
Of this shit
This shit I gotta live with, what
This shit I gotta live with, what

[Outro]
Congratulations
You made it, now pick a different topic every time you fucking say shit. Ever notice that everyone laughs at your statements, it's not even funny let alone fucking painless. I heard the girl you love finally took the kids, it's fair but you don't even care man like, look in the mirror and see the man bigger than life. Help yourself and change your mind before you die. Man you used to be so fun and like, funny and like loving and like, now you're just a fucking asshole
And you should just lose it
The persona, the personality, the 'HOBO JOHNSON'
The casualty actually, we are all your friends, but
Are you ours you're trying less, and we want you to be how you used to was when you were used to us and there was always love but another one's lost to the savages in the Los Angeles scene on the sunset strip, strip
Give me an apple and I'll take my leaf off
Strip, strip
Give me an...