[Intro]
(Reversed:) "Ah sure, I've seen Mark, he's— he's got one of those fuckin' cannabis bandannas... He's the future."

[Chorus]
Na na na na na na na na
Nothing ever happens

[Verse 1]
It seems like no-one cares
I think I'll take the stairs
'Cause nothing ever
He punched himself in the face
To prove he wasn't gay
'Cause nothing ever happens

[Chorus]
Over and over and over and over again
Na na na na na na na na
Nothing ever

[Verse 2]
I dropped onto my knees
And prayed to Jesus please
Will something fucking happen
Then they killed poor George dead
They put a hammer through his head
Now nothing ever happens
[Chorus]
Over and over and over and over again
Na na na na na na na na
Nothing ever happens

[Verse 3]
Steven's in the bar for a bar fight
Nick's in the bar for a bar fight
Danny's in the bar for a bar fight
Grant's in the bar for a bar fight
Scott's in the bar for a bar fight
Shit-eyes in the bar for a bar fight
John Gerrard in the bar for a bar fight
Charlie's in the bar for a bar fight
Andy's in the bar for a bar fight
Stewart's in the bar for a bar fight
Gareth's in the bar for a bar fight
Pimmy's in the bar for a bar fight
Cranky's in the bar for a bar fight
Aoife's in the bar for a bar fight
Biker's in the bar for a bar fight

[Chorus]
Over and over and over and over again
Na na na na na na na na
Nothing ever happens