[HANRATTY]
Stop your sobbin’ kid, before I shoot
Your nose is running on my only suit
Who’d of thought I’d share this dance with you
Looks like we’re stuck together
Which is strange but true

[FRANK, JR.]
Guess you caught me, now the chase is done
You must admit I gave you quite the run
Mister Tortoise, here’s your rabbit stew
Looks like we’re stuck together
Which is strange but true

[HANRATTY]
Tell Mister Ripley at “Believe It Or Not”

[HANRATTY & FRANK, JR.]
The show is over and he’s all that I got

[HANRATTY]
Hard to believe it but we’re tying the knot today

[FRANK, JR.]
That’s okay
[HANRATTY]
Frank, thank your public while you’re still in your prime
They won’t be seeing you for quite a long time
And after you’ve paid for your life of crime
Well, kid, we’ll see what good behavior can do

[HANRATTY & FRANK, JR.]
‘Til then we’re stuck together
Which is strange but true

[FRANK, JR. (spoken)]
Mr. Hanratty turns out to be as good as his word

[HANRATTY (spoken)]
Frank was sentenced to fifteen years in prison
But was released after seven for good behavior

[FRANK, JR. (spoken)]
Carl and I became great friends
And he even became the godfather to my kids

I set up my own security company
And paid back every bad check I ever passed

[HANRATTY (spoken)]
Alright Frank, keep your promise
How did you cheat the bar exam?
[FRANK, JR. (spoken)]
I didn't cheat. I studied!

[HANRATTY (spoken)]
You're kidding me?
I hate this guy, how does he do it!

[FULL COMPANY]
Hey, Mister Lawyer, Mister Two-on-the-Aisle
You never can predict when fortune may smile

[HANRATTY]
In fact, I think I’m gonna break with tradition
And tell J. Edgar Hoover, “Baby I’ve gone fishin’!”

[FRANK, JR.]
If you had read this, you’d have said “No way!”
I almost made it look like crime does pay
There’s lots of folks that I miss every day

[FRANK JR. & HANRATTY]
But now a new duet has made its debut
And now we’re stuck together

[FULL COMPANY]
Oh yeah!
[FRANK, JR. & HANRATTY]
In and out of luck together!

[FULL COMPANY]
Oh yeah!

[FRANK, JR. & HANRATTY]
I’m glad we’re stuck together
Which is strange but true

[FRANK, JR.]
Your junior partner came through

[HANRATTY]
A simple case of monkey see, monkey do

[FRANK, JR.]
I’m glad to be on your team

[HANRATTY]
Frank, let’s make some butter out of cream