[RECEPTIONIST 1]
Hotel del Coronado, may I help you?

[RECEPTIONIST 2]
Hotel del Coronado, may I be of service?

[RECEPTIONIST 1]
Hotel del Coronado, please hold

[ENSEMBLE]
Paging Mr. Fielding

[PERSON #1]
Telegram! Telegram!

[ENSEMBLE]
Phone for Mr Fielding

[PERSON #2]
Wall Street calling

[PERSON #1]
Your mother calling

[ENSEMBLE]
Tell us Mr. Fielding what's the key to your success?
You seem to float above a world that's totally a mess
[OSGOOD]
Well...
They say the great depression's gotten everybody's goat
But pops invented root beer and it's keeping me afloat
And so I've sailed the sеven seas to find myself a matе
Love comes and goes and heaven knows I've spent a lot on bait

Yes money can be made or lost for that's what money does
But that's not why at night I cry
The reason is because...

I like sailing on every coast
I've got millions, but I can't boast
Because I'm missing what I need most
I'm a poor little millionaire!

Most girl's think I'm a perfect match
They see me and think, "ooh, what a catch!"
But all my lovers go down the hatch
I'm a poor little millionaire!

I pay my taxes, I got no debt
I'm just a little pot of gold (pot of gold!)
So I keep casting out my fishing net
But the only thing I catch is a cold (aw)
But I'll keep sailing across the sea
Until that siren starts beckoning me
And when we merge I'll no longer be
Just a poor little millionaire!

[SWEET SUE] (spoken)
The Hotel del Coronado, we made it!

[DAPHNE]
Smell that ocean air!

[JOE/JOSEPHINE]
It almost makes you want to run away to Mexico!

[SUGAR]
It looks like a movie set!

[DAPHNE]
I've never seen anything like it. The view is-

[DAPHNE/OSGOOD]
-absolutely beautiful!

[OSGOOD] (sung)
I was sitting in sad repose
But then the boat started rocking and thar she blows! (woo!)
So now I'm hoping that lorelei goes
For a poor little millionaire!
Like Captain Ahab I'm in my prime
And I could show you a whale of a time
I pray you aren't put off that I'm
Just a poor little millionaire!

I've been looking for a gal for whom cash
Is not an aphrodisiac (good luck!)
Cause the nights are lonely only counting your stash
And though I love my money:
It doesn't kiss back (aw)

Do you believe in love at first sight?
It sure is whetting my appetite
So say you'll sail on my yacht tonight
With this poor little millionaire!

[OSGOOD] (spoken)
Oh! Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Osgood Fielding the Third

[DAPHNE] (spoken)
I guess that makes me Cinderella the Second

[OSGOOD]
I'm the proprietor of this humble oasis. We aim to make our guests feel equally welcome and properly pampered. May I help with your case?

[DAPHNE]
I can do my own heavy lifting, thank you!

[OSGOOD]
You must be with the band! I have a front row table for your show tonight

[DAPHNE]
I'll try not to spit on you

[OSGOOD]
Oh, don't hold back on my account. I'm a Pisces!

[DAPHNE]
Good. Then you know there's other fish in the sea

[OSGOOD]
Pardon me. Might you know that young Aphrodite's name?

[JOE/JOSEPHINE]
Who, Daphne?

[OSGOOD]
Daphne... Time stands still...
Daphne!

[OSGOOD] (sung)
My poor love life was all at sea
I was all resigned to walk the plank (walk the plank!)
But now my heart's feeling quite fancy free
So lets bust open my piggy bank!

Be my matey and say "aye-aye"
The next step, baby, we'll hit the sky
From the kind of happiness money can't buy
With your poor little millionaire!

[ENSEMBLE]
Millionaire!

[OSGOOD]
Woo!