[PHIL]
My friend is going out and I'm tagging along
She's gonna see some pals she hasn't seen in so long

[HEATHER]
It's my boyfriend's friend's birthday and I was free
Will I know people there? He said:

[HEATHER'S BOYFRIEND]
You'll know me

[MEGAN]
My sister's meeting friends. She said

[MEGAN'S SISTER]
You'll love 'em, I think

[MEGAN]
I said, "I don't love strangers, but I do like to drink."

[ALEXIS]
Everybody, this is Phil

[PHIL]
Hey, I'm friends with Alexis
[MEGAN'S SISTER]
Guys, this is my sister

[MEGAN]
I flew in from Texas

[HEATHER'S BOYFRIEND]
And I finally brought my girlfriend

[HEATHER]
That's me, I'm Heather
Where did you three meet?

[ALEXIS, HEATHER'S BOYFRIEND AND MEGAN'S SISTER]
We grew up together!

[PHIL]
Aw, they leave us at the table and they go do a shot

[HEATHER]
They ask if we'll save their seats

[MEGAN]
We say, "Sure, why not?"

[PHIL]
But now we're three strangers that our friends forgot
[MEGAN]
Uh-oh

[HEATHER]
Uh-oh

[PHIL]
Uh-oh

(Hook)
[HEATHER, PHIL, AND MEGAN]
We got brought

[PHIL]
And we don't know each other

[HEATHER, PHIL, AND MEGAN]
We got brought

[PHIL]
So we all have to suffer

[HEATHER, PHIL, AND MEGAN]
We're all plus-ones just nodding a lot
And we all wanna leave, but it's only 8 o'clock
We got brought
(Verse 2)
[MEGAN]
It's hell on earth, but we try to push through
I ask, "Where y'all from?"

[HEATHER]
And I ask, "What do you do?"

[PHIL]
And I couldn't think of a single other question
So I also asked, "Where y'all from?"

[HEATHER]
We already covered that

[PHIL]
Does anyone have another question?

[MEGAN]
Okay, so what's y'all's trauma?
I make my escape and say I'm going to the bathroom
But this crazy bitch says

[HEATHER]
Oh, I'll go with you

[MEGAN]
No, you won't!

[PHIL]
Is she leaving? Nice meeting you
Now we're waiting at the bar and no one's coming by
And if there's one second of silence then we'll both die
So I reach into the depths of what I know
And I say, "Did you know there's only been 25 deaths at DIsneyland since 1955?"
And she says

[HEATHER]
Only?

[PHIL]
I say, "Never mind." I ask, "What neighborhood is your apartment in?"
She says

[HEATHER]
Brooklyn

[PHIL]
And I say, "Oh, whereabouts in Brooklyn?"
And without skipping a beat she says

[HEATHER]
Oh, the safe part

[PHIL]
Which was shocking, so I panicked, and all I could say was, "Oh good, I love the safe part."

[HEATHER]
Wait, no, I said the south part

[PHIL]
No!

(Hook)
[HEATHER, PHIL, AND MEGAN]
We got brought!

[MEGAN]
Your mutuals are gone! Your mutuals are missing!
You're wandering in a dance club while your friends are reminiscing

[PHIL]
Where are our friends? Where have they gone?
Why would they bring us here and leave us so long?

[MEGAN]
You're all out of topics and the conversation's lazy
So you just keep on saying, "That's crazy."

[HEATHER]
That's crazy

[HEATHER, PHIL, AND MEGAN]
Oh really? That's crazy
So crazy. That's crazy
No way, that's crazy
Wow! Crazy!

[PHIL]
That's crazy

[HEATHER]
So crazy

(Outro)
[PHIL]
Well, it's nice to meet you. It's getting late

[HEATHER]
It's 8:05

[PHIL]
I don't want to be here anymore!

[HEATHER, PHIL, AND MEGAN]
We got brought!