Trixie Mattel
Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova / Pilot
Trixie: Hi everyone, it's me Trixie Mattel

Katya: And I'm Katya. Welcome to

Both: UNNHhhhh

Trixie: The show where we talk about whatever

Katya: And in whatever way, we want to.

Trixie: Because it's not your show, It's ours

[Intro]

Trixie: Yeah, I have to tell you, when I met you on Drag Race, I walked up to you and the first thing I thought was, "Costume's so cool, her teeth are so big and bright," and I thought you looked really pretty.

Katya: Thank you!

Trixie: But what's funny is, you look like a real person, but then your comedy is really funny, funny, funny. And I feel like I look funny, and then I'm terrible.

Katya: (Cackles)

Trixie: So we relate in that way. What did you think when you saw me?

Katya: Well, first of all I thought you were part of the crew.
Trixie: (Laughs) Everyone did!

Katya: But when you did drag-

Trixie: Did you know Miss Fame was like, "Were you getting your Red Bull?" and I'm like, "I don't work here, cunt."

[Cut]

Katya: I don't think you look like a man. I don't think you look like a woman.

Trixie: (Gasps) Oh y'all wanted a twist?

Katya: (Wheezes)

Trixie: [Lifts dress] This is a woman?

Katya: Oh ho ho ho

Trixie: No um, I, cause I think that I look like very obviously a man who's very dressed up

Katya: You seemed pretty like, like calm and cool and like-

Trixie: I did?

Katya: Yeah!
Trixie: Oh, and I did them every day (?)

Both: [Unintelligable]

Katya: But you were friendly with everybody and-

Trixie: Oh! yeah

Katya: Like, you know, very like, outgoing and, and . . .

Trixie: Yeah, and [In demeaning voice] I was just there to have a good time [Normal voice] well you know when you walk into a room and everyone around you has nicer hair and costumes or talented, you, you just gotta roll the ball. Oh, do you remember how certain we were that neither of us were gonna win? After like, episode 2 I knew like, "I'm gonna do good, but it's me."

Katya: Oh yeah! And you know what, here's the thing-

Trixie: Only cause the other people seemed like they were being received so well

Katya: So well! Violet-

Trixie: When Violet, day one, is pulling out. Remember her Spring runway, the first thing we saw?

Katya: That was my favorite thing, that was my favorite thing

Trixie: That was amazing! Although her walk and look, one of her purple contacts was gone and I was like, "I can see your brown eye." and she hated me right away.

Katya: (Laughs) She denies it to this day but I, I will, I will tell the story time and time again, and she fucking called me a filler queen.
Trixie: (Laughs) That's funny

Katya: As soon as I walked in, and I, I had already been like, tiptoeing-

Trixie: She was right

Katya: -On and, uh [Looks at camera and awkwardly smiles]

Trixie: (Laughs) I mean we filled in between episode 1 and the-

Katya: (Laughs) Knowing that you're not gonna win is not a great mindset, by the way. But, it does, it's kind of freeing

Trixie: Well it does help that you went from not smoking to FULLY smoking, in about 2 days.

Katya: It, it took about 2 days and then by day 4, I had been smoking about 35 to 40 cigarettes a day.

[Cut]

Katya: (Chanting from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) Do you guys love Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?

Trixie: (Cackles) That's my drag name

Katya: (Wheezes)

Trixie: Ladies and gentlemen, [unintelligable]

Katya: (Laughs) The legendary

Trixie: The legendary

Both: Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom! (Laughs)

Katya: (Makes whiplash noises) Get on up! Get on up! (Chanting from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom)

Trixie: I have a question.

Katya: What?

Trixie: Ok we, (wheezes)

Katya: What? (Laughs)

Trixie: We've traveled the world and we've seen some amazing drag names. Can we talk about a little girl in Australia we met-

Both: (Katya louder) Karen from finance!

Trixie: Karen from finance.

Katya: We have heard a lot of great drag names but, a terrible one.

Trixie: I will never understand like, I'm a man and I'm gonna go do drag and I can have any name I can pick in the whole world . . . Rebecca Michaels

Katya: (Laughs)

Trixie: Like are you in the Witness Protection Program?

Katya: (Laughs) Yeah, exactly!

Trixie: Why would you want that? I like when the name tells you what you're about to see. Like Ginger Minj I think says everything about her. It's kinda like this, old Broadway kind of name and it's kinda like-

Katya: Yeah, that's true. Kinda fun, Trillian . . .

Trixie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Umm, Trixie Mattel I think makes sense

Katya: Yeah

Trixie: I've never seen a lot of Trixie's, there's Katya's though.

Katya: Katya is like the, like the, uh, I don't know, the Kelly of Russia. There's like the Katie of Russia.

Trixie: Katie . . . yeah

Katya: It's really really common . . . like me

Trixie: And you're like the Bob of the United States (laughs)

[Outro]

Katya: And don't forget to subscribe to-

Both: WOW Presents!

[Bloopers]

Trixie: Here are some of the pickup lines I like to use on guys. Are you ready?

Katya: I'm ready

Trixie: You be the guy.

Hi, is your refrigerator running?

Katya: Yeah, why?

Trixie: Cause I'm gonna stuck your dick. It's like, it's not funny, it doesn't go anywhere, but it always works!