[Prelude: Eazy-E]
Hahahahaha!
Good evening and welcome to Eazy's playhouse, you stupid muthafucka!
Now that you got the album
What the fuck are you gonna do with it, bitch?

[Intro: Ice Cube, Dr. Dre & Eazy-E]
I knew this n***a back in, uh, uh—back since a n***a was little
(You lying, you lying man)
The n***a come from Compton, Michigan, n***a
(Compton, what? You ain't never met no Eazy-E)
Well, I'ma introduce him (You a damn liar!)
This is the craziest motherfucka you done seen (You a damn liar!)
This n***a's crazy—just listen!

[Verse 1: Eazy-E]
Easily I approach
The microphone because I ain't no joke
Tell your momma to get off of my tip
I have no time to give her my dick
I'm gonna hold it, and walk around the stage and
If you fuck up, I'm goin' to get my gauge and
Unload the barrel and blast
'Cause I'm puttin' lead in your mothafuckin' ass
Psychopathic, but the hoes are attracted
Because when I'm on hard, my dick's at least a yard
In the days of old, I was a nut
Now I'll need at least 3 hoes when I fuck
'Cause I do a check—nut 1, nut 2
Then I save a nut for when there's nothin' else to do
Get used to the crew, bitch, 'cause I would never quit
As soon as you think that's it, I'm still talkin' shit
[Interlude: Ice Cube & Dr. Dre]
Haha, I told you that n***a was crazy!
Eazy Eric, that's my boy, haha, godamnit!
Go on, boy, wit' yo' bad self!
Step up to the mic, n***a! (Ayy bitch, pass me my Ripple)

[Verse 2: Eazy-E]
I got a fable that you need to listen to
It's a funky little rhyme about a bitch or a two
One's Sharon, the other one Shaun
I wanted to nut, but which one do I want?
Shaun said, "Eazy, let me fuck you blind"
And Sharon said, "E, I want to blow your mind"
I said, "Fuck it, I know what should be done
Just pull your panties down and I'll fuck the biggest one"
And then I get the other pussy, put it in the freezer
So, I can always have a on-hold skeezer
Yeah, that's the ticket, I'll do it like that
So, I told the hoes to take a big step back
Took the zipper down, eyes wide, and said
"Here's what I'm gonna put inside"
Grab it like a rabbit (Grab it), let's work it (Work it)
But I won't love you—when I'm done, I'll still be talkin' shit...

[Interlude: Ice Cube, Dr. Dre & Eazy-E]
Haha, that boy good! (Yeah, that boy's good)
(That muthafucka be talkin' all kinds of shit)
I used to get pussy like Eazy Eric every day!
(You ain't no motherfucker!) How you know, muthafucka?
(You're lyin', your dick can't get hard!)
Oh, suck my dick, muthafucka! (N***a, you lyin')
Who you talkin' to? Well, get up then, n***a, shit...
[Interlude: Dr. Dre]
Wait a minute, wait a minute, cut this shit
Ayo Yella boy, won't you rewind it

[Verse 3: Eazy-E]
N***as don't see I'm a 100 percent legit
And you know it ain't about all that bullshit
It's about fuckin' this bitch and that bitch
But not the bitch with the 7-day itch, like that ho
Just throwin' me the pussy
She says she wants to do it like a doggy
She's bad, nobody is badder
But she got more crabs than a seafood platter
Bitch on the gank move, to skeaze me
Just to say, "I got fucked by Eazy!"
So, I slapped the ho like a pimp
I might be a woman-beater, but I'm not a pussy-eater
So, when the shit hits the fan, it's outta my mouth
You don't like what I'm talkin' about?
All of y'all can just suck my dick
You could quote me now 'cause I'm still talkin' shit

[Outro: Ice Cube & Dr. Dre]
The boy's good—I told you, boy!
(Ayy, I knew him when he was knee-high)
The n***a got talent—you don't know a damn thing!
(I knew him when he was knee-high)
He still is knee-high, muthafucka!
(Yeah, I like that part—bring that shit back one more time, Maestro)
That's that old Z.Z. Hill, huh? Ha-ha-ha!
I tell ya, boy, I can do the Mashed Potato, n***a, what can you do?
(Muthafucka, I can do the boogaloo, I can do the boogaloo!)
Boogaloo?! That old shit been played out back in 1967
(Man, fuck you; fuck you!)