[Verse 1]
I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare I take a drive?
Push the limit, it's a wonder how I stay alive
They think I'm crazy and I am, but every day I thrive
They said a tab of this will get you there, I'm taking five
I smuggle drugs and hella liquor right through TSA
I mean in my belly, I did it all when I was on the way
My Uber driver ain't know what the fuck was going on
I walked in shirtless he was like "Hey man, can you throw one on?"
I'm with a blonde and my Johnson is what she's blowing on
I'm in the backseat, I nut, she catch it like a Pokémon
The 9th Wonder of the world and still got it going on
I stay providing, it's your track that I am flowing on
Life would be different if I ever had a fuck to give
Remember saying "eh, I just need enough to live"
But now I'm rich and I'm a greedy selfish asshole
Patrick Bateman, swear my life is really that roll
They say "Your alcohol abuse will take a bad toll, there's bags under your eyes and you're not even that old"
(Bitch, shut the fuck up) What was that?
Eh, what? I think I'm hard of hearing
I'm ordering hookers online until they start appearing
I busted all over her makeup and it started smearing
Tears of joy, she's so bad that I started tearing
Like you're too pretty to be doing this for a living
But then I snapped out of it like "What the fuck I'm thinking?"
[Chorus]
I just wanna live to the maximum
Liquor, drugs, hookers all day
I'm just having fun, yeah
This is what the world's come to
If you're offended by this shit
I'm saying "Good, fuck you"

[Bridge]
Tsss, I'm just playing
Really no, I'm serious, I'm not
I'm just playing
Really no, I'm serious

[Verse 2]
I dumped my girl cause I was sick of keeping her around
Always pissed and she would always feel like turning down (turn down for what)
But then got lonely and felt sorta down
So I took some ecstasy, I knew my mood would quickly start to turn around
Saw rock bottom, passed it up, and now I'm further down
At the depths of the world, no one heard a sound
The world's biggest dirtbag, I'm coming for the crown
Ash a blunt inside the Oval Office 'til it's burning down
Killing birds with one stone, I'm tryna combine 'em
Fuck Donald Trump, I took a shit, that look just like him
I wish McGregor and Mayweather could like just fight him
That part's for real though, I mean it, I'm not just spiting
They take everything I say to heart
When I met Adriana Lima, I swear I heard her fart
That's when my plans changed for my mission to steal her heart
Like covering my nose with my shirt and walking away awkwardly
We ain't close no more, they say I can't rap about coke no more
Ok, I swear that's the last time, I'm 'bout to focus more
Running around the house party I'm feeling hella hyper
My dealer came through with my drugs, I had to pay the piper
I move with the precision of a sniper
Your girl will be mine if I like her, it's a given, I'ma pipe her
[Chorus]
I just wanna live to the maximum
Liquor, drugs, hookers all day
I'm just having fun, yeah
This is what the world's come to
If you're offended by this shit
I'm saying "Good, fuck you"

[Bridge]
Chill, I'm just playing
No really, I'm not se-
Chill, I'm just playing
Really no, I'm serious
I'm not playing
I'm not joking
I'm just joking
I'm not joking
I'm just playing

[Outro]
I'm just playing ladies
You know I love you
Biatch!