[Verse 1: Danny Sexbang]
All my friends are going out
To a house in town, let’s party now
We’re gonna join the crowd
And make the DJ proud, let’s turn it out
We enter the house, there’s a vibe in the air
Lots of fun, talk and laughter, people smiling everywhere
It’s been a long week and I need to unwind
This party has alcohol of every kind
There’s people in the pool, beers on ice
The music is groovin’ and they’re dimming the lights
Everybody starts dancing and I roll up my sleeves
…I want to leave

[Chorus 1: Danny Sexbang]
So dance ‘til you stop (Ooh-ooh)
‘Til you want to go home (Ooh-ooh)
This party is great but not nearly as great
As being alone-lone-lone
It’s Saturday night (Ooh-ooh)
I just want to have fun (Ooh-ooh)
So many beautiful people
And I don’t want to talk to a single one

[Verse 2: Danny Sexbang]
I forgot to mention
I hate parties every time I give them a try
Interacting with a stranger
Makes me want to run and hide, and also die
I had two sips of beer and a couple of snacks
Stood against the wall and had a panic attack
A guy comes up and he wants me to vape
This is my hell and I cannot escape
He talks about girls and his trip to France
It feels like my body’s being eaten by ants
I get a spam call from the cable company
[Spoken Word: Danny Sexbang]
I’m sorry I’ve got to take this, it’s a one-time offer and they give me 10% off the dish if I order
At the same as the cable and if I connect it to my Wi-Fi…

[Chorus 2: Danny Sexbang]
So dance ‘til you stop (Ooh-ooh)
‘Til you wanna go home (Ooh-ooh)
This party is great but it’s 7:08
And I just gotta go, go, go
It’s Saturday night (Ooh-ooh)
I just wanna have fun (Ooh-ooh)
So many beautiful people
And I didn’t talk to single one

[Post-Chorus: Tom Cardy & Danny Sexbang]
So many beautiful people singing “We’re all having fun!”
Beautiful people singing “We won’t stop until we see the sun!”
Everybody’s singing, but I see one singing a different song

[Bridge: Tom Cardy]
Why won’t they stop? I really want to go home
And all these beautiful people are making me feel like a fugly little gnome

[Spoken Interlude: Tom Cardy, Danny Sexbang, Tom Cardy & Danny Sexbang, Michelle]
I feel the same way
Really?
Yeah, I hate parties
I hate them too
Play some music!
Oy, I’m not the goddamn DJ, Michelle! I told you, I got my face stuck in this big bear head and you and your friends just started dancing around me
Oh my god, I hate it when that happens
It happens to me almost every day
Dude do you want to hang out?
We could, or… we could stand at opposite ends of this party stare at our phones for half an hour and then never talk to each other again (Play Lady Gaga!)
WE’RE HAVING A MOMENT
MICHELLE, YOU’RE KILLING ME!
[Chorus 3: Tom Cardy, Danny Sexbang, Tom Cardy & Danny Sexbang]
So dance ‘til you stop
‘Til you want to go home
This party is great but not nearly as great
As being alone-lone-lone
It’s Saturday night
I just want to have fun
So many beautiful people
And I don’t want to talk to a single one

[Spoken Outro: Tom Cardy, Danny Sexbang, Michelle]
Oh my God, another chorus!
LET’S BREAK STUFF!
I’m freaking out
Is that Dr. Who?
This door doesn’t open!
Oh my god, I’m SO drunk right now
Oh, thank god, a cat. THE CAT’S DEAD! (Meow)
No, he’s all right, he’s all right!
If I don’t get any more attention I’ll set myself on fire!