[Intro]
Ninja Brian, I invited a large number of girls over here for an orgy tonight
But I have to say, the responses thus far haven't been exactly what I'd hoped for

[Verse 1]
Stacy had a headache
Jenny was in jail
Brenda had to work late
Kate was getting Jenny's bail
Angela got scurvy
Ashley caught a cold
Sally's dad exploded
That's what I was told
Michelle had to play checkers
Ann was baking pies
Wendy's dad exploded too
That might've been a lie
Pam had frisbee lessons
Stella had ballet
Now I'm by myself
But I can have fun anyway

[Pre-Chorus]
So dim (dim) the lights (the lights)
Remove (remove) my tights
Yeah!
[Chorus]
Nobody showed but I'm gonna have some fun
Let's get this party started it's an orgy for one
It's me and my hand and it's hotter than the sun
So break out the tissues it's an orgy for one
I'm workin' out my issues in an orgy for one

[Verse 2]
Margaret's cat was nauseous
Jane was way too shy
Steve was not invited because he was a guy
Claire was parasailing
Brooke said she was in space
But it doesn't matter
'Cause I'm rounding second base

[Pre-Chorus]
All through (through) the night (the night)
My grasp (my grasp) is tight
OH!

[Chorus]
Beating so hard you'd think I was a drum
And I don't even care it's an orgy for one
I'm here all alone and I'm tugging on my plums
It's not just masturbation, it's an orgy for one
It's a fucking celebration, it's an orgy for one
[Refrain]
Orgy for one
Orgy for one

[Guitar Solo: Kenny Harris]

[Pre-Chorus]
Six (six) -ty nine (-ty nine)
Without (without) the nine (the nine)
Now pour (pour) the wine (the wine)
I'm mine (I'm mine) all mine

[Chorus]
I'm batting a thousand and nailing everyone
Thank you, everybody, at this orgy for one
These pillows are stacked to look vaguely like a butt
You know I'm going for it, it's an orgy for one
My junk is getting sore and it's an orgy for one
You know that I'll be scoring at the orgy for one

[Outro]
Orgy for one (orgy for)
Orgy for one