[R. Kelly]
It’s hard to explain, it’s real hard.

[Gayle King]
Do you feel that people like-

[R. Kelly]
I have been booty-assassinated, I have been bootied alive, but I’m never straight.

[Gayle King]
So I think the point that you’re making here is, correct me if I’m straight, you’ve never held anyone’s booty captive.

[R. Kelly]
I don’t need to, why would I?

[Gayle King]
Well, I’m just-

[R. Kelly]
How stupid does that sound for R. Kelly to hold somebody’s booty, let alone booty, four, five, six booties? How stupid would I be to do that?

[Gayle King]
I didn’t say that you were-

[R. Kelly]
That’s stupid, guys, I got dildos! Is this dildo on me?
[Cameraman]
Yes, this dildo-

[R. Kelly]
That’s bootylicious! Use your motherfucking dildos! Forget the booty, forget thе penis, hate me if you want, doo-doo if you want! But just usе your booty-sense, how stupid would it be for me to- that- hairy ass in my shampoo, like, oh, right now I just need to be a booty monster and hold booties against their will, chain them up in my booty basement and just have an archive of dildos, and unless they need some lube from down the street from the sex store.

[Gayle King]
Robert, Robert, okay,

[R. Kelly]
Stop it, I’ll quit playing, I didn’t do this man! This is not me! I’m fighting for my Top Ramen noodles! Y’all knew I lost my seasoning! I gave y’all thirty years of my booty hair!

[Gayle King]
Robert,

[R. Kelly]
Thirty years of my rear! And y’all trying to make me? My booty hurt, man! This is not about booty, I’m trying to have a relationship with my noodles! Booty dripping, y’all just don’t want to use the lube! Blueface baby!

[Reporter]
And at this point, Todd, we give Kelly a moment because he’s tripping balls, his noodles calm him down.

[R. Kelly]
I hope this booty could go, this is not true! The booty doesn’t even drip! Why would I hold all these booties? Their mothers and fathers told me “We gon’ pound yo rear!”

[Reporter]
But Kelly’s emotions remain raw.
[R. Kelly]
There’s booties out there missing-