I am in love with the laughing sickness
It would do me a lot of good if I had it --
I have worn the splendid gowns of Sudan
Carried the magnificent halivas of Boudodin Bros
Kissed the singing Fatimas of the pimp of Aden
Wrote glorious psalms in Hakhaliba's cafe
But I've never had the laughing sickness
So what good am I?

The fat merchant offers me opium, kief
Hashish, even
Camel juice
All is unsatisfactory --
O bitter damned night! you again! must I yet
Pluck out my unreal teeth
Undress my unlaughable self
Put to sleep this melancholy head?
I am nothing without the laughing sickness

My father's got it, my grandfather had it;
Surely my Uncle Fez will get it, but me, me
Who it would do the most good
Will I ever get it?