(Song)
[RUTH AND EILEEN]
Why, oh why, oh why oh
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Why did I wander
To find what lies yonder
When life was so cozy at home?
Wondering while I wander
Why did I fly, why did I roam?

Oh why, oh why, oh
Did I leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better go home (O-H-I-O)
Maybe I'd better go home

(Spoken)
[RUTH]
Now listen, Eileen, Ohio was stifling. We just couldn't wait to get out of the place, with Mom saying, "Ruth, what, no date for this evening?" And Pop with "Eileen, do be home by 10"?

[RUTH AND EILEEN]
Ugh!

{RUTH]
The gossipy neighbors and everyone yapping who's going with who

[EILEEN]
And dating those drips that I've known since I'm four
[RUTH]
The Kiwanis Club dance

[EILEEN]
On the basketball floor

[RUTH]
With Cousin Maude and her lectures on sin

[RUTH AND EILEEN]
What a bore!

[EILEEN]
Jerry Black!

[RUTH]
Cousin Min!

[EILEEN]
Ezra Nye!

[RUTH]
Hannah Finn!

[EILEEN]
Just hopeless
[RUTH]
Babbitty

[EILEEN]
Stuffy

[RUTH]
Provincial

(Song)
[RUTH AND EILEEN]
Thank heaven we're free
Why, oh why, oh why oh
Why did we ever leave Ohio?
Why did we fly, why did we roam
Oh why, oh why oh
Did we leave Ohio?
Maybe we'd better go home (O-H-I-O)
Maybe we'd better go home