[Round 1: Dumbfoundead]
Shoutout to King of the Dot and OVO one time
For flying out Jet Li on a Learjet ‘cause Lil' Romeo must die
My last battle was Battle of the Bay 5
That was 5 years ago when I was ‘yay’ high
I feel paranoid on a yay high
‘Cause with these cameras, this host, and this little pus*y…
Am I on Dateline?
I could kill you in six seconds: I should just make Vines
Let’s save time, just say “time!”
He’s probably gon' say some Asian sh*t
And pull out shoguns, Peking Duck, Ching Chang Chong
Wait, slow that down, did I accidentally diss you?
I said pull out yo' guns, peek and duck, ching chang chong
That sh*t is easy as f*ck, I don’t like to slow it down
When I spit a line, I want y’all to know it now
You always over-explain
That sh*t is overly done, ain’t y’all over it yet?
Ironic, the shortest motherf*ckers always tryna go over your head
How you that small?
You look like a male Bratz doll
You know I actually auditioned for Wild 'N Out
Then I looked in the mirror and said, “That’s not what I’m about.”
They had me rhyme in a Chinese accent
I told 'em I’m from Korea town
Then they asked the black guy next to me to wear a wig and a Madea gown, y’all know him as Conceited now
You’re a D-list celebrity, I’d rather keep my integrity
I’d make more money in my sleep while you sleep with the enemy
I couldn’t have bought my condo with Con dough
I got Dumb money—and that’s not a pun, dummy
Now I got young money for the artist fee
And you also got young money for modeling the cover of Carter 3
Look at his baby ass with his baby tats
You buy your guns at Baby Gap
Your first job, you babysat
When you throw out punches they feel like baby daps
Your favorite rapper is Baby Bash
That’s not a punchline, that’s real… baby facts
[Round 1: Conceited]
Listen here, Dumbfoundead
Now you going against the hoodie type
The gun’ll spit, give you a bunch of tips
I ain’t talking about good advice
n*gga you ain’t cookin' me, the only thing you cook is rice
Aight, which one of y’all Dumbfoundead
Both of you n*ggas look alike
So y’all finally put Dumbfoundead in front of me
They say you are what you eat
No wonder why this cat kept duckin' me
n*gga, me and this Chin shoulda been battled
I woulda served ya and flamed ya
Don't think that the Dot is determined to save ya
‘Cause they gave me the body I always wanted
Like a personal trainer
So I’ll pull up on that set you rep
Get your stomach cut without doing sit-ups
You better dip, it won’t work out
If I spot you with the pounds that I lift up
When the MAC's out you ain’t doing squat
Y’all better see Dumb bail when I send this Chin up
This kid Dumb is the worst dressed in battle rap history
I mean I hate your shoes, b
You only roll in somethin' fresh when you makin' sushi
And what you wear doesn’t match
Like the lips and words in Asian movies
Y’all move y’all mouths a million times for just one word
And it still be off—why?
They be like, “...........Hi.”
The sound effects never on time either
It’s either like *kshch* or *huhhuh**kpshpsh*
But try that kung fu sh*t with me, I’ma grip the 8
You don’t want me to cook your noodle
Well, get low, mane, like what’s on your dinner plates
Don’t believe anything this ninja say
Or one word he spit today
‘Cause just like your YouTube clip
We know everything you kickin' fake
This n*gga’s name is Jonathan Park
That’s not a punchline, that’s real facts!
No cab when you see an arm wave
You can get hit with the knife
But a toast'll spread when I give Park, K’s
I’ll show up at your front door with a large 8
Right where John stay, it’ll be lookin' like Monopoly
‘Cause I got the metal piece at Park place
You will get wet—grab a poncho, n*gga!
I point with the 9 like Rondo, n*gga
And you gonna hear a lot of steel like I’m a Toronto n*gga
[Round 2: Dumbfoundead]
How you say that kick video was fake? That sh*t was real
It’s as real as you grip the steel
If I can’t kick it, yo, your b*tches will
There's perks to being short, I don’t care what y’all think
When you got small feet, you can get the Jordans all cheap
When you order a shot at the bar, that’s a tall drink
He got three hot tubs at the crib, all sinks
I know these short jokes are getting old
But I ain’t even gotta use those
They’re just starting to grow on me, but you won’t
So I had some of my North Korean homies hack into your emails
I found some very interesting details
Keywords like latex, shaved legs, jpegs of Taye Diggs
All types of gay sh*t
But I know you ain’t gay, ‘cause you into Asians
But yours look like cavemen
I stay with a bad b*tch, what you think is a dime is maybe, ehhh, 6
Like, if you went to a Thai whore house
They be last pick and have di*ks
I get the top hoes at the Brothel
You couldn’t reach the top row at a Costco’s
It’s impossible, you’re hella short
You, Emmanuel Louis, Gary Coleman, Martin Lawrence
Lil' Bow Wow, Big Bow Wow, and Kevin Hart
Black Hollywood’s seven dwarves
A bunch of midgets in the woods living large
You seem all tough in Hollywood
But it’s all an act in the end like Bollywood
When I’m talking K pop, I ain’t talking Gangnam Style
I’m talking Gangland files
In L.A. words can get you killed like a hangman round
Lately the battle scene has gotten Iggy Azalea
But I ain’t talking black and white
I’m talking make-believe and actual life
Hear how you glorifying guns and probly gon' have a blast tonight
There’s some kid in every major city in America who’s gon' get blast tonight
You have imaginary guns
Some people have mandatory ones
I seen them Wild 'N Out reruns of you rapping having fun
The homie died the other day, the news ain’t ran the story once
Sometimes I think we both forget that we both sell rhymes
But hook us up to a polygraph, bet I won’t fail mine
With your folktales of dope sales, ain’t no shells flyin'
‘Cause real rounds don’t end when the host yells "Time!"
[Round 2: Conceited]
You and your whole Asian gang, I’ll just use one fist to hit ya
I’ll put my right hand on that yellow circle: that’s Twister, n*gga
Double deuce-deuces with these little blickers
I’ll grip the trigger, you could get shot down by the twins
More than Roger in Sister Sister
I’m quick to grip a Wesson or a 12
I’ll let the weapon give you hell
Just like your fortune cookies you can get the message from a shell
You cuff your b*tch like she in jail, but she give me mad choch
Yeah, you’re part of the Swim Team, I give her back strokes
She give me fast throat, and do good when she south
Since she eat with chopsticks, she should be used to having some wood in her mouth
But she has the flattest ass and chest I have ever seen
She's such a small skeezer
If I was you I wouldn’t be wrestling to hit that raw neither
I mean she's from China, why would you take her?
No matter what she rock, nothing big shows
From any angle that John seen her
This large nina make sure your nephew and niece are slaughtered
And your aunt may find your uncle been killed like Peter Parker
n*gga, the clip will be on your head, you don’t need a barber
And that sh*t will “BOW!” like you when you greet your father
I’ll kick in his door, walk in his home
Start wavin' like I’m finna go
When I’m lickin' ain’t no envelope
I’ma hit your sensei, your grandfather, I’ma kill your folks
I’ma bring the Maggie to that yellow family like the Simpsons show
Y’all n*ggas know I’m gonna sling him
Them 9’s I’ma bring him
And I bring the war to Park like Wild Water Kingdom
I’m bringin' the heavy can
Any problems, I’ll let the semi blam
If things go south, Park, soon as you walk I’ll
Make sure you get caught, man, how can he stand?
Y’all catch that? Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Stan?
Man, that’s why this chinky hates me
If it’s problems I’ll get the sh*t jumpin' like Mr. Hanky
Now lastly they told me
By the looks of his eyes he might be sleepin' on you
So I better come with it, I should be scared of his freestyles
And be horrified of Dumb's writtens
Had me like, “sh*t, in this battle, Dumbfoundead gonna cook and eat me…” nah, just kiddin'
SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST DISSED YOU!
I said, Dumbfoundead gonna cook and eat me? Nah, just kittens
[Round 3: Dumbfoundead]
I’m opening up for Pat Stay and Charron, shake my head
I started this nerdy sh*t, this the motherf*ckin' thanks I get?
I get the club going up like iLoveMakonnen
You get in the club droppin' names like, “I’m with Nick Cannon.”
He rocks expensive sh*t and licks his lips, LL Cool J over here
Difference is you’ve been rappin' about dudes your whole career
By the way, what’s all that sh*t on your neck?
What’s all that sh*t mean?
Oh, I get it, we all make mistakes when we’re fifteen
This is where me, Tunechi and Wiz link
We got grown-man tats, lil tyger, that sh*t is kid ink
How much work could they done on you?
Matter of fact, that’s the only time you’ve had a gun on you
Ratatatat butterflies on your back
And some Chinese letters that don’t mean jack
Every battle you do is a short film
Oh, you got unlimited ammo?
Does that mean I could have force fields?
Does that mean I could have orcs, swords, shields
A giant hammer that Thor wields?
Does that mean I could have orbs, pills
Potions to level up more skill?
Just ‘cause you talk about guns doesn’t make it more real
You’re a dork still!
While you and your crew were playin' Gangster: The Gathering
I went on a couple dates with your family
Met his mama on Tinder, thought we had something special
I leaned in to kiss her
She said “SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST MET YOU!”
So I holla’d at his auntie, real polite, real respectful
I thought she’d want me
But she said: “SLOW IT DOWN! THAT’S MY NEPHEW!"
My last resort was his sister, I knew I’d be successful
I was like, all aggressive with it, like, “Let me hit it!”
She said: “SLOW IT DOWN! I’MA LET YOU!”
It’s funny how you think Organik is your friend
But he’s just exploiting you, he’s like Nick Cannon at the end
Yo, but after this, I may never have to battle rap again
But you, you’ll be back up here again
Battling with him, battling with them
Battling with enemies, battling with friends
Wait, what’s your name, sir? Jim? You’ll be battling with Jim!
For you, it’s a never-ending battle and the battle never ends
[Round 3: Conceited]
We was supposed to battle 2009 in Grind Time
With the bars you ran, so what we need relay for?
You was p*ssed, I was buzzin'
If we battled, you would be a corpse
So that shows I been made John mad in ’09 like EA Sports
I mean I thought you would sign a deal
You mad ‘cause my views are climbin' mills?
I know that sh*t was drivin' him crazy
Like when you behind the wheel
I shoot and fire steel that’ll pop at ya
And I light 8 sticks like it’s Hanukkah
Just to get you capped like a yarmulke
That erase this mark like a swastika
I load and flash steel: that’s photographers
And the can it’ll cap it all like Ottawa
Yo, I’m boxin' ya, if we brawl up in this place
You’ll get knuckles all up in ya face
And your head be knocked-off like the Jordans that y’all make
So y’all go and gave me this Chino in TO
Who eats soup named miso, and he’s called a hero?
n*gga, I will take every dollar you got if your gwap got zeroes
Like that movie they was shooting, Heat
Al Pacino’s in the cast and Rob De Niro
SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST DISSED YOU!
I said we’re shooting heat
I’ll put Chinos in a cast and rob dinero
You take this Asian pride sh*t so far
Your favorite battle rapper is probably Math
I mean there’s nothin' left to talk 'bout
You’re so Asian, when you get hungry, you argue with your girl on purpose so she can put you in the dog house
You take this Asian pride sh*t so far, you probably love Ryu
And your second favorite battle rapper's Tsu Surf
‘Cause he puts his rhymes in subtitles
I should let the snub light you right now
You’ll let the pipe blaow? n*gga, pipe down!
You ain’t got the Magnum for protection to pop Con, Dumb
It’s not in your lifestyle
I need you to tell me right now
Why do you use “R’s” instead of “L’s” when you speak?
He be like, “Herro! My favorite rapper is Ril Wayne.”
I mean, now that’s the truth, I ain’t racist
I don’t know if that’s somethin' you do ‘cause you’re Asian
But in this battle I’ll give you a L so you can use it in your language
That Ruger get to bangin'
Put you in your place if you comin' for Con dough
Go realer with the bananas
For the monkey business wherever Con go
Why would you think a 9 would miss?
Bullets have no name, but they still comin' for John though
Y’all know S.O.N.S. created a lane for any battler that has bars
Even when you Asians will break
And somebody down and killin' 'em, that’s ours
No, when you Asians will break
And somebody down and killin' 'em, that’s SARS
So even if he did say he’ll burn me like ether when he busts guns
These blickers kick back like 3 Ninjas
You Rocky? Put the Colt to your tum tum
And if you did have a gun, you would give nobody the bucks
You like Lush One