[Intro]
My life is brilliant...
What, was I too early? I'm sorry
Should I... do you wanna start over? Or keep going?
Okay, now? Now?

[Verse 1]
My life is brilliant
Your life's a joke
You're just pathetic
You're always broke
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
Really ain't impressin' me
You're sufferin' from delusions of
Adequacy

[Chorus]
You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
Never had a date
That you couldn't inflate
And you smell repulsive, too
What a bummer being you

[Verse 2]
Well, you just can't dance
And forget romance
Everybody you know still calls ya
"Farty Pants"
But you'll always have a job, well, I mean
As long as you still can work that Slurpee machine
[Chorus]
You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
You're half undressed
Eatin' chips off your chest
While you're playin' Halo 2
No one's classier than you

[Bridge]
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la... loser

[Chorus]
You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
Your dog would much rather
Play fetch by itself
You still live with your mom and you're 42

[Outro]
Guess you'll never grow a clue
Well, it just sucks to be you