How do you do
I see you've met my, faithful, handyman
He's just a little brought down
'Cause when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman
Don't get strung out
By the way I look
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man
By the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steeve Reeves movie

I'm glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry

Right!
We'll just say where we are
Then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry

Well you got caught with a flat
Well how 'bout that
Well babies don't you panic
By the light of the night
It'll all seem alright
I'll get you a Satanic mechanic
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Why don't you stay for the night
Night!
Or maybe a bite
Bite!
I could show you my favorite obsession
I've been making a man
With blonde hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my tension
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Hit it! Hit it!
I'm just a sweet transvestite
Sweet Transvestite!
From Transexual
Transylvania
So come up to the lab
And see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici... pation
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause
But not the symptom