[Intro]
Oh yeah, baby
Oh yeah, baby

[Verse 1]
One thing I know, my girl ain't no Hobbit
She might be stumpy, that don't mean she a Hobbit
She's not a Hobbit, 'cause she couldn't be! (Not a Hobbit)
She got no Bagginses in her family tree
Yes, on occasion, she hangs out with her dwarf fwiends
But she never went on no quest with her dwarf fwiends
Except for one time, she went to kill that dragon
She took its gold and she—

[Break]
Hang on a minute, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Bitch, remember when you went off to kill that dragon with them dwarves? Yeah. Oh yeah. Right, right, right, right. Yep. Yep, I got it. Yep, love you too. [Kissing noises]

[Verse 2]
It wasn't no dragon, so my girl ain't no Hobbit
That was a Quizno's and my bitch went to rob it
'Cause they got that ham that she rubs on her cellulite
While she drinking her grog and singin' those merry songs at night
My girl ain't no Hobbit
Please God, tell me I'm not engaged to no Hobbit
Not a Hobbit