CRAIG
People are dying
The fault is our own
You can do lots of damage
When you're on your phone

CRAIG (and TWEEK)
We all have to agree (ah, ah)
To change it somehow (ah, ah)
Let's all make a pledge (ah, ah)
To end it right now (ah, ah)

FOURTH GRADERS
Put it down
Don't be on your phone
While being president
Put it down
Might do something dumb
And cause an accident

MEN
Let's all agree, here today
That if we're ever leader of the USA

ALL
We'll put it down
CORPORATE EXEC (spoken)
If at any point today, you're being a president, put down your mobile device

FOURTH GRADERS
Put it down

PEDESTRIAN (spoken)
If I'm on the phone, I will not get behind the desk of an oval office

FOURTH GRADERS
Put it down

MCDONALD'S WORKER (spoken)
I'll take the pledge

DOCTOR (spoken)
I'll take the pledge

HILLARY CLINTON (spoken)
And I'll take the pledge

FOURTH GRADERS
No one cares

MAN IN RESTAURANT (spoken)
What's that? I was just elected president? Well, then, goodbye
FOURTH GRADERS
Put it down
If you're president today

ADULTS
If you find yourself being president today

FOURTH GRADERS
Ah ah ah ah ah ah

NANCY (spoken)
Hey, Brian, look! I was just elected president

BRIAN (spoken)
That's great, Nancy, now put down your phone

FOURTH GRADERS
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

NANCY (spoken)
Right

FOURTH GRADERS
Put it down

CARTMAN
Give a standing ovation
For suicide in our nation
Or I will rip my own guts out
Without one hesitation
Dedication, that's what it's taking
To waken people to care
And yet my future's so hazy
My girlfriend's making me crazy
But still I'm working so hard
You know, just trying to hold on
Because I know you don't miss me so much
If I was gone
And all the voices start solo
But everyday I hear them grow
Saying, "Eric, don't do it, don't do it noooo"
No... no....
FOURTH GRADERS
Put it down
Don't be on your phone
While being president
Put it down
Might do something dumb
And cause an accident

ALL
Let's all agree, here today
That if we're ever leader of the USA
We'll put it down

FOURTH GRADERS
Put it down

CARTMAN (spoken)
I'm not gonna do it, guys. It worked. I'm not gonna do it