[Intro]
Back
(You're a fucking dick)

[Verse 1]
Same old, you know getting arrested
Being offensive though still as impressive
Me and the Mrs we're getting along
'til I do something wrong and it's another domestic
People wanna know what my life's like
Behind closed doors what my wife's like
It gets crazy in bed we watch a couple episodes of a boxset and then it's night night
When she hears this shit, it's lights out
I'll probably get kicked out of my house
'til I come back with a brand new Chanel bag
And shoes but I refuse to wave a white towel
I know I'm my own worst enemy
Happy wife happy life but I like stress
I dunno why
Just seems to be that whenever there's upset I operate at my best!

[Hook]
Say you won't be home late
But you've been up all night
Won't tell me where you've been
But you'll be occupied
I can't do this anymore
(One eye on the door)
If you got one eye on the door
(One eye on the door)
[Verse 2]
One minute it was one the next it was six
Shit I'm dead, I don't know where the time went
Where's my phone? Shit 61 missed calls
A divorce is on the cards if I don't split
And get my arse in gear, I'm asking for it
A bastard ain't I, off weed the same
Better get my arse in gear and get a car quick
Though if I'm already gonna get my arsed kicked then pass
What's one more half
What's one more spliff
What's one more glass
What's one more line
What's one more toke
I'm already a dead man when I get home
I know I'm my own worst enemy
Happy wife happy life but I like stress
I dunno why
Just seems to be that whenever there's upset I operate at my best!

[Hook]
Say you won't be home late
But you've been up all night
Won't tell me where you've been
But you'll be occupied
I can't do this anymore
(One eye on the door)
If you got one eye on the door
(One eye on the door)
[Verse 3]
I never said I'd be home early babe
I was at the studio working late
After work we went out for something to eat
And something to eat turned into something to drink
And something to drink turned into something to take
And something to take turned into another mistake
Another mistake that I won't learn from
I never said that I'd be home early, you heard wrong
When she hears this shit, it's lights out
I'll probably get kicked out of my house
'til I come back with a brand new Chanel bag
And shoes but I refuse to wave a white towel
I know I'm my own worst enemy
Happy wife happy life but I like stress
I dunno why
Just seems to be that whenever there's upset I operate at my best!

[Hook]
Say you won't be home late
But you've been up all night
Won't tell me where you've been
But you'll be occupied
I can't do this anymore
(One eye on the door)
If you got one eye on the door
(One eye on the door)
[Outro]
I will never ever ever ever ever ever do this again
I have something to celebrate
I dunno what it was, I swear down!
I love you!
Sorry, sorry!