[Verse 1]
New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down
New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down
Like a rat in a cage, pulling minimum wage
New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down

[Verse 2]
New York, you're safer and you're wasting my time
Our records all show you were filthy but fine
But they shuttered your stores when you opened the doors
To the cops who were bored once they'd run out of crime

[Verse 3]
New York, you're perfect, oh, please don't change a thing
Your mild billionaire mayor's now convinced he's a king
And so the boring collect, I mean all disrespect
In the neighborhood bars I'd once dreamt I would drink

[Verse 4]
New York, I love you, but you're freaking me out
There's a ton of the twist, but we're fresh out of shout
Like a death in the hall that you hear through your wall
New York, I love you, but you're freaking me out

[Verse 5]
New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down
New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down
Like a death of the heart, Jesus, where do I start?
But you're still the one pool where I'd happily drown
[Chorus 1]
And, oh! Take me off your mailing list
For kids who think it still exists
Yes, for those who think it still exists
Maybe I'm wrong and maybe you're right
Maybe I'm wrong and maybe you're right
Maybe you're right, maybe I'm wrong
And just maybe you're right

[Chorus 2]
And, oh! Maybe mother told you true
And there'll always be somebody there for you
And you'll never be alone
But maybe she's wrong and maybe I'm right
And just maybe she's wrong
Maybe she's wrong and maybe I'm right
And if so, here's this song