[Intro]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

[Verse 1]
Some say the end is near
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon
Certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from
This bullshit three ring circus sideshow

[Chorus]
Of freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A.  
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any fucking time, any fucking day
Learn to swim, see you down in Arizona Bay

[Verse 2]
Fret for your figure and fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your Prozac and fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and fret for your car
It's a bullshit three ring circus sideshow

[Chorus]
Of freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A.  
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any fucking time, any fucking day
Learn to swim, see you down in Arizona Bay
[Bridge]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey-ah, hey, hey, hey-ah
Hey, hey-ah, hey

[Verse 3]
Some say a comet will fall from the sky
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits
And some say the end is near
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this
Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit
One great big festering neon distraction
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
'Cause Mom's gonna fix it all soon
Mom's coming 'round to put it back the way it ought to be

[Verse 4]
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Fuck L. Ron Hubbard, and fuck all his clones
Fuck all these gun-toting hip gangster wannabes
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Yeah, fuck retro anything, fuck your tattoos
Fuck all you junkies, and fuck your short memory
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Yeah, fuck smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas
Fuck these dysfunctional insecure actresses
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
[Verse 5]
'Cause I'm praying for rain
I'm praying for tidal waves
I want to see the ground give way
I want to watch it all go down
Mom, please flush it all away
I want to see it go right in and down
I want to watch it go right in
Watch you flush it all away

[Verse 6]
Yeah, time to bring it down again
Yeah, don't just call me pessimist
Try and read between the lines
And I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend
I want to see it come down
Bring it down
Suck it down
Flush it down

[Outro]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey