[Round 1: Anderson Burrus]
As a reliable bench player for URL…
Coming to King of the Dot puts me in quite a predicament
Like, y’all don’t understand - I could be facing fines and imprisonment
(*That gets a few members of the crowd chuckling*)
I’m not laughing
I could be facing fi- it’s a serious contract
I could be facing fines and imprisonment
But I said, “Screw a contract! It’s my life, and I’m livin’ it!”
So I called Beasley, asked him nicely, and he signed my permission slip
But don’t be thinkin’ that I’m nice and considerate
My punches? Ali wishes he was alive just to witnеss it
I’m sick, twisted, my mind isn’t innocent
Last week, I watched Thе Notebook...and I only cried just a little bit!
I’m a monster!
(It’s a sad movie - I cried, like, three times only)
I only cried just a little bit
So if we fight, I’mma finish it
I established my mark
Plus I’m filming this whole event, you never had it this hard
What you know about walking into a venue, tryna practice your bars
Security thinks that you’re the camera guy, and you actually are?
So I don’t care that you’re autistic, I don’t care that it’s weighed you down
I don’t care you’re on TV, I don’t care that you’re famous now
You might be a Wild N’ Out star, but your career’s changin’ routes
Now it’s Love On The Spectrum: the autistic kid’s gettin’ taken out!
I know I sound like a hater now, but I used to love to watch him win
Plus Ty Dolla $ign and Kanye named their album after him
But you wanna know the reason why I stopped calling you a friend?
‘Cause you lost to Mike P and made him confident again!
(He’s decent now, bro! He’s decent because of you)
But he didn’t just take a loss to him
No, I’ve been keepin’ receipts
Pat Stay and Real Deal kept you from bein’ the King
Nunn Nunn beat you so bad, you couldn’t eat for a week
Juan made you seem like a geek
Pete made you read it and weep
Rone had you seeing a shrink
I know y’all think he’s elite
But he’s a traffic ticket
As long as you’re white, he’s pretty easy to beat
But there’s no seasoning in my home, so you’re not beating me, Charron
Take my advice
You versus Bigg K was only debatable ‘cause he’s debatably white
So it’s in my best interest to be takin’ you light
But you’ll have to black on me if you wanna make this a fight
But he ain’t playin’, this man’s on a mission
It’s the way that he performs, it commands y’alls attention
Advanced body twitchin’, his hands start to stiffen
He was doin’ the Milly Rock before the dance got invented
But man, I’m suspicious of the fact that you’re 32
They say a haircut keeps you young - you are actual living proof
Your hair- you have a hat on
(*points to a guy - who looks like he could be Charron’s brother - standing just offstage behind Charron*)
His hair looks just like-
Actually, y’all two look just alike
His hair looks like his hair
Bro, it- it’s classic and vintage, too
I just have to know, what’d you do?
I mean, it looks like you discovered the Fountain of Hitler Youth
You wore a-
His hair…just imagine his hair on his-
Alright…had to call an audible
It looks like both of you discovered the Fountain of Hitler Youth
You wore a Confederate flag shirt, but had an acceptable excuse
You’re Canadian - you never learned about the Confederates in school
But here’s a lesson about Americans that I bet you never knew
I’ll put a weapon up to you - 9-millimeter
Yeah, we use the metric system too!
Yo…you say Americans, we use the metric system too
And this lesson’s just for you - don’t get carried away
I’m giving you a run for your money like a charity race
But I’m sure you’ve been preparin’, and got a lot of flips to say
But I’m American - I can see that comin’ from a…kilometer away!
[Round 1: Charron]
Ay, see, he came from America, but I knew he was runnin’ away
That’s why I had to pull the pen (pin) out like I was chuckin’ grenades
I mean, we in King of the Dot - why’d you even come to this stage?
Wanna talk about my hair, but I had a hat on…
Now we’re literally runnin’ the fade!
This bitch dyin’ when I pull back the curtain, it’s a Hitchcock flick
How are you a viral sensation when the kid’s not sick?
Think I’ll lose to an iBattle reject who can’t name a hip-hop clip?
Not on my watch!
I’ll teach him his role, Lexx (Rolex)
We don’t want that TikTok shit!
You make TikTok clips, I make snuff tapes
No pump-fakes
I’ll make your death viral on the newspaper
His parents read it (Reddit) on the front page
This guy is mild!
No one thinks your rhymes are wild!
That’s why ‘Ganik gave AB C: it describes your style!
We know why URL picked you
I give a fuck what this man makes
All your promos are fake beef
We know it’s something this plant based
I know Mac Lethal from Scribble
You know him from cooking up pancakes
I’ve done commercials with McDonald’s
You share Tom MacDonald’s fanbase
Bitch, stop! You know I’m his top gunner!
The 6 God
What good’s a trick shot to Chris Bosh jumper?
Would you rather be a 30-year-old clone tryna be a TikTok wonder?
Or on three homes and have a stock portfolio doing FlipTop numbers!?
I’m schemin’ on this bitch!
You’re cocky ‘cause you’re receivin’ lots of hits
I’m on Wild N’ Out, but you’re the one that got conceited off them clips
I’m on every list! Got that veteran feel!
I’m on Benny The Butcher’s Top 5 - you don’t have legend appeal
Your clips have dweebs and preteens falling head over heels
Would you rather be respected for real, or be respected for REELS!?
Yo! Yo! I’m son’s idol!
Clickbait - that stuff’s vital
Fuck you! Surf’s the only rapper we respect with subtitles
This my atmosphere, and you’re Bleachus to ninth-graders
My brother, I’ll leave you dead
You reading off lined paper
Comedy Central Roast, and insert the line later
No idea (Eyedea) how to rap, the kid is a Rhymesayer
Get used to the tempo, move him to death row
Leave AB purple like Super Nintendo!
Yo, Saurus, who thinks this kid’s elite!?
The way sir be in (Serbian), he’ll get a Pistol, Pete
I’ve sold a furnace, I’ll give him heat
I knock on doors and rip up candy rappers: “Trick-or-Treat!”
I never missed a beat, you no-rhythm geek
Show him how to eat off the flow - that’s word to Victor Sweet!
No one wants to have a sit-down with me like the middle seat!
Popped up outta nowhere, so I took you out like wisdom teeth
I’m schemin’ out! You’re in disbelief
When you rap, it sound like Andy read (Reid) it out, but you ain’t winnin’, Chief
The same skin, but no skin in the game
Your shit is weak!
They gave you a Hannibal, Burrus! ‘Cause you fit the Bill
I don’t care what the cause be (Cosby) - I’ll put this bitch to sleep!
Picked the lowest-hanging fruit
I knew he’d bring up my syndrome
But I’ve chilled with you, and we share similar symptoms
[Organik]
Talk that autistic shit!

[Charron]
I’ve chilled with you, and we share similar symptoms
You don’t make eye contact, and you spit with no rhythm
Real recognize real, and ‘tism recognize ‘tism
He got here on the YouTube Shorts bus
This pathetic dweeb only gets respect from teens
You want quick engagement
You don’t know what a long-lasting impression means
Your dream’s to meet Bo Burnham
You don’t rep this scene!
How does it feel to be 30 years old trying to become what I was at 17!?
That’s time

[Round 2: Anderson Burrus]
It feels pretty good, honestly
Bro, that rebuttal in the beginning? Pfft…that rocked the room
You really surprised me there, bro
Hats off to you
Look at you
But bro, we really could run the fade if you keep talkin’ that trash
Just like your hair, we can cut this short and square off in the back!
You told the wackest guy at St. Matthew’s High he should’ve crashed and died
Then, on a podcast, admitted that you can’t actually drive
It’s his hand-eye coordination, which explains the animation
Why you think we’re battling in a bike shop? This is his only transportation
You said, unironically, “This what you get when you confuse McLovin with Jim Duggan”
Bro, enough is enough
I am sure the suburban cul-de-sac you come from is tough
He be drinkin’ maple sizzurp out of Styrofoam cups
In a Canadian Crime Mob called “Canuck if you Buck”
He be movin’ packs around, just cruisin’ past your town
He never stays in one place…unless the Uber app is down
Drake put this country on the map
He gave Canada clout
Then you and Tom MacDonald went and canceled it out!
Bro, you said-
When you rematched K-Shine, you told a room full of Black people…
“I wish for the death of every cop - that’s a true fact
Y’all say ‘Hands Up, Don’t Shoot’
I say ‘Guns Up, Shoot Back!’”
You really…
You really G-checked the Black community on that one, bro
Charron be like, “I know peaceful protesting has kinda been the standard
But have y’all ever considered that violence is the answer?
The White Man is a cancer. Start breaking the law
Dr. King gave y’all a dream - here’s your wake-up call!
You must stand up to your oppressors, or the outcome is instant death!”
Well, thank you so much for the lecture, frickin’ Malcolm in the Middle X
Imagine me coming to Canada, rapping about issues that I can’t understand
Like, “Hey, Aboriginal people! Here’s how to take back your land!”
I’m a white American, guys! Listen up!

“Hey, Aboriginal people! Here’s how to take back your land!
I wish for the death of every contractor. I’d tell them the fight’s on
Y’all say, ‘Stop building the pipelines!’
I say, ‘Start building the pipe BOMBS!’”
WHAT!?
Bro, if he actually saw police brutality, y’all think Corey would shoot back?
No! All that you would do is say “Sorry aboot that”
Bro, goin’ to Geechi’s league is the only riot you’ve ever been to
And getting beat by Mike P is the only police violence that you’ve went through
You’re autistic and you’re awkward
I can’t commend you being vocal
You’re not an expert on social issues ‘cause you have issues being social
But you’d go to a BLM protest just so you could start suggestin’ stuff
You’re white! Just shut up and feel guilty like the rest of us!
(I feel terrible all the time)
See, this wouldn’t happen if he had friends, but no one ever advised him
He thinks celebrity status could be his leverage to guide him
And being an Instagram activist will help people like him
But posting a black square don’t make you less of a white one
As a kid, you hated school, and were miserable in class
You missed the lecture on Rosa Parks ‘cause you were sitting in the back
But even Trudeau got put on blast
So I can’t expect for you to grasp
That people who are Black faced issues in the past!
But please cut him some slack!
I know I’m painting him as heartless
But his intentions are never bad - he’ll just occasionally miss the target
So find a way to disregard it
I’m not saying that he’s harmless
But I need y’all to understand: he’s not racist…he’s retarded

[Round 2: Charron]
Yo, Anderson, you are so corny
Let me talk to y’all
Did a whole round about police brutality
But when someone’s barbecue is too loud, you’d get the cops involved
I mean, you are softer than a cotton ball
You’re the biggest square one since Mississauga's mall
I mean, you can do this to leave a message like they forgot to call
He did a whole round about bicycles, but you know as soon as we spoke, I would body y’all
I don’t know what you’re sayin’
I stand my ground like the Taj Mahal
I’m like the venue’s bicycles, ‘cause the way I handle bars is off-the-wall!
URL picked you ‘cause of their global reach
Their sponsor wanted “more whites” and you’re a promo beast
You’re just a Caffeine plant like coca leaves
Frak and Dunsh have better bars than dude
Lil Wayne’s new shit: we rank you under Carter, too (II)
How you gon’ run the fade? It ain’t even something your barber do
Don’t take this negative when I light you up - it’s what artists do
You’re in photography
You should know when you develop an image, it gets dark for you
No one knows you, so you promo
The kid is panickin’
You have to introduce yourself before you step in the ring
That’s why you’re Mr. Anderson
Wanted that URL push!
You’re better at films than battlin’
Was hopin’ P (pee) can make you cool
This ain’t Billy Madison!
They give you battles for filming instead of payin’ you green
We see you through a different lens
We don’t want your face on the screen
But I should be directing battles, ‘cause all my angles are clean
All I do is focus and snap, and I created this scene!
See, my lines age like fine wine
It’s crazy you direct battles and rap like it’s Grind Time
Stick to your formulaic flow
No one thinks that your bars the hardest
Anderson’s so white, he buys his beats at the farmer’s market
If you are where you shop, then you are a Target
If we talkin’ silver (Silva), I’ll give Anderson top three like a mixed martial artist!
They set you up! I’ll mess him up!
Stab him while he hold the camera: this the director’s cut!
F him up! Dude’s a legend!
Drake skipped the Grammys for me
You’re from NC - who you reppin’?
If I was in NC, I woulda been lit with Cole (coal) like a hookah session
New aggression!
Your family outlined in chalk…left a huge impression
Last time he saw this many sketchers (Skechers) was his shoe collection
I’m GOAT-tier (tear) like the Jordan meme
I don’t care how many high schoolers think you’re obscene
I’m your idol - how you gonna go viral off of Cor’ and teens?
The war machine! You’re an up-and-comer!
Who you messin’ with?
Oedipus: I’m the King, motherfucker!
Put a sheet on him, since he looks undercover
On God, I’m able (Abel) to kill my younger brother!
Assault over the shoulder like it’s Dumb and Dumber!
Get a tombstone…off the rip!
He’ll go viral…off the clip!
You’ll never grow old, Andy…the mill’ knock his (Milonakis) shit!
Your promos are better than your battles, but shit sells
Hector Salamanca: my name blew up and rings bells
You say shit like “I’m the white Tsu Surf”
You takin’ big L’s
Free The Wave!
Only thing y’all have in common is both of you are in cells (incels)
You’re a TikTok rapper, you just battled the top dude
You think you’re bigger than battle rap, but that shit is not true
On the cam’, I ruin (Cameroon) people, I’ll actually drop you
You came to a different sport and got boxed out like Francis Ngannou!

[Round 3: Anderson Burrus]
Bro…he had the nerve to accuse me of being white
As if that’s a roast
Bro, he reminds y’all that he’s white every five seconds
Okay, I remind y’all every ten at the most
Bro, but you wanna say, what, like, I’m your little brother?
Then forget rapping, we can fight
You say I’m, what, a knockoff Charron?
You are absolutely right!
He said his girlfriend left him for a Black guy ‘cause his dick was too small

[Charron]
Shotgun Suge

[Anderson Burrus]
She-
You left him for Shotgun Suge?
Really? She left-
Okay, wow
Well, his girlfriend left him for Shotgun Suge, it’s terrible

[Charron]
It was the battle

[Anderson Burrus]
He said his girlfriend left him for Shotgun Suge ‘cause his dick was too small
And ever since that happened, he’s been…pissed at Jamal
Be walkin’ up to groups of Black kids at the mall
Just starin’ at their dicks like, “Man, I’m jealous of y’all.”
It be settin’ him off, I know I’d be upset
But your love life and my day job actually kinda connect
Except when I’m behind the tripod, I’m lighting the set
When Charron’s behind the tripod, his wife’s having sex
But you my dawg, and we be mad cool
So I probably won’t attack you
Just read the signs before you go there like walking in a bathroom
‘Cause if you cross that line, then I honestly could stab you
And I would feel nothing like Bonnie when she grabbed you!
Dawg, I’m gonna drag you, I’m just providing an example
So come try it
I’m an umpire, that slide is gettin’ canceled
You’ll see gunfire, and then son dyin’
They gon’ light a bunch of candles
I can become violent
A drunk pilot: I’m flyin’ off the handle!
I’ll have them canceling the card like an unusual purchase
We gon’ see if that free healthcare truly is worth it
They won’t need to raise funds to get you to a surgeon
The fans can call you a doctor, for nothing, like Julius Erving
(Let’s come over here - sorry, the microphone’s right here)
I’m just who they’re preferrin’ because I’m cooler in person
When Hitman called me his favorite white boy, I knew you were hurtin’
I mean, it’s cool you’re a virgin, just hit the weights more
When I look at you, I see myself if I didn’t play sports
But let me guess…
Your career is working out, you’re on a popular show
So who cares if your arms are skinny? Your pockets are swole!
Friggin’ stop it, Charron!
I hate when you get on this little confidence spiel
Like “Have I mentioned to y’all that I’m rich and how awesome it feels?
I went from poverty meals to eatin’ lobster and veal
I be paying my bills, I dominate in my field”
But you would trade all of that for conversational skills!
Listen!
It’s the lonely and pathetic guys who show off their success in life
Grow on social media, but can’t grow enough to socialize
I have hung around you long enough to know that you feel dead inside
You wear Wild N’ Out shirts in public just hoping you get recognized!
And the moment that that’s jeopardized, it ruins your dreams
You’re the man at King of the Dot, but how are you pullin’ the strings?
You never got a chain or a belt to prove you’re the King
You could walk through a metal detector without removing a thing!
King of the Dot treated you like a legend in rap
But you’d rather be an “urban legend”, so you left them for SMACK
But y’all talked, and it’s cool that your friendship’s intact
But I’m a ball hog: I refuse to give him a pass
I mean, I get that you’re a vet, but just consider the staff
Because you’re sending them in debt every event that you’re at
When they’re giving him a check, he’s got expenses to add
But you’re Canadian – of course you’ll keep milking a bag!
I’m just giving you facts, you’re exceptionally goofy
I’d say you look like a school shooter, but you’re not threatening to me
This ain’t a vet vs. a rookie
I’ve never respected him fully
In high school, you would be the kid that I’d protect from the bullies!
‘Cause you’re not socially thrivin’, but you’re my bro and we ridin’
‘Til the wheels fall off like a broken alignment
It’s scary, dawg
Jared Goff: you getting thrown to the lions
And I’m just doin’ this ‘cause I have to like voting for Biden!
I will kill him, hide his body somewhere no one can find him
You’ll go from TV to a podcast like Conan O’Brien
But just know I won’t like it when Charron ends up dyin’
But since loud noises scare him, he’ll get a moment of silence

[Round 3: Charron]
He said he’s a knockoff Charron, but he is not that dope
Look at me - I know you really don’t want that smoke
Yo, there’s a cleanup over here - what’s goin’ on?
Something that we really gotta cope
I fathered your style so hard, during your round, a bitch’s water broke
My fans want bars that are deep
They care about substance
Your fans say “How come there’s no beat, and where are the judges?”
I mean, it’s clear you have fans
You made being white and weird as your brand
Say his name three times and a $14 latte appears in your hand
It’s Chuck D vs. Gen-Z
Expert, beginner
He thought DMX was a direct message on Twitter
They want me to battle you, so you do their socials
You’re not a heavy hitter
They don’t like your battles, fam’
You’re the cameraman – you need to get the picture!
See, I’ve birthed your career through repetition
They brought a The Saurus, but I’m the mothafuckin’ definition
Of the reason you even get recognition!
Now Pops is givin’ son the work like nepotism!
You’ve been a kid to me since I was Triple C!
They put someone who’s done the most epic rap battles of history
Versus the walking version of Epic Rap Battles of History!
You’re the trust fund baby that I’ve supported
I wish I could go back in time and tell my wife, “Abort it.”
My name in the 6 rings, they know I’m important
I did a 23andMe, and it said I’m Michael Jordan
You wanna be Bo Burnham, that’s how your pages got poppin’
You made a name off of Bo(w) like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
I don’t like how you’re an overhyped actor
Benjamin Goldberg: you’re just a token white rapper
I’m all-time, you’re last week
I’m someone you can’t beat
We’re different animals
I’m the great white, you’re the black sheep!
Clip this up and make me go viral, bitch
I’ve got a caption you can feature:
“Wild N’ Out Star Roasts Random Dude from Theatre”
Or “Steve from Blue’s Clues Gets Battered, Bruised, & Ethered”
Send ya home packin’
I’ll expose this bitch in Shorts like Catholic school teachers
I’ve heard of Nathan for You
What is this, Adam Ferrone?
You left Patrick Beverly to have a rematch with Charron?
Close your eyes – he even matches his tone
I will shatter the bones of this actual clone
Raise my fists and keep breakin’ shit like I’m accident-prone!
You fuckin’ Rone clone!
Do you know how horrid this sounds?
If I played your voice for Big T, he’d lose 46 pounds
The Tom Brady of this shit, I’ve been holding it down
We know you’re a clown
The GOAT’ll let it ring twice on AB like Antonio Brown!
I’m Charron! You’re diet Rone!
We’ve been watchin’ the tapes
You look like you work at Penn State Farm
Plus, you’re callin’ the Jakes
You’ll never be Adam Ferrone
You’re just a vulture that takes
He’s Grandma’s Favorite Grandson
You’re the one she adopted and hates!
I gave you this platform
I’m the reason your bars get a pass
This is student versus teacher, but you’ll never be a part of my class
I gave you this foundation! I was here carvin’ his path!
Think Mook’s police altercation: I literally started from scratch!
So bring the title back and tell Diz’ that he’ll lose in the ring
It’s Phony Baby the Prince, and soon-to-be King
That’s 3!