[Round 1: Illipsis]
So we got Illipsis versus…Roheezy?
Ay, to reiterate, after this shit, it’s absolutely no freebies
You got this match up off a wish made it to a rogue genie
I got it ‘cause they said it’s “the Indian from iBattle”
They gave me “Real Sickly” - y’all are so sneaky!
Ay, you thought you’d be flaming ‘Lips in battle, but you ain’t Yoshimi
Do you realize this whole time you’ve been performing in a bubble? Versus no neat freaks
On iBattle, I keep seeing bro clean-sweeped
Rinse, repeat, in the same spot over and over like OCD!
But I heard he’s good for business – wow!
So he promotes cheaply
N-No! No! He’s moving tickets now…
Sold his own cheap seats
And it isn’t how, he’s catching hit, after hit, as his nose bleeding
It’s ’cause they really found Ro’s (rows) nowhere near the main stage
And from this point, he won’t see me!
Fuck a race joke, I’m my own species
Bro, we are incompatible
They had really gassed you as you moved through the beginner’s manual
Told me “Give a little slack to you”
Almost had to cut ties completely, keep this business casual
But I’m back! In the 6! After a quick sabbatical
You the scapegoat - time to die!
Life of Pi: we in the same boat, but I’m a different animal!
This your ingenue, huh?
Too bad I used all my “ahh’s” and “ooh’s” up
When he makes angry faces, you’re tellin’ me that’s not a Goomba
Thought you’d find more of your empire here like Chandragupta
But I got an empire of my own, and I’m really with the shits like Montezuma!
You are talkin’ to the Gautama Buddha
So this Indian’s all types of fucked on paper like the Kama Sutra!
I watched him use the ethnicity as
A gimmick to mask the ability you intrinsically lack
Even leaning into the jabs just to dismiss ‘em as prejudicial attacks
I’ll admit it, I’m on Indigenous land
I’ve been an advocate of givin’ it back
I mean, it’s 2024…fuck the Indian Act!
Facts! I do not care who Ro’ talk to
I will not lose to one of Trudeau‘s costumes
I said, talk’s cheap…not me
This is not good convo
Gandhi did not eat, still had got booked pronto
Small fish in a big pond cannot beat the jaw hook combo
Cross me? Get concrete doin’ the Shah Rukh Khan pose!
God knows I’m the one that you do not wanna mess with
He get outta pocket, I’ll punch him into a new pocket dimension
I would’ve assumed that you’ve gotten the message
But dude prolly dyslexic
Resume talkin’ this reckless
All rude, brolic, and hectic
‘Til his body parts all in the deep freeze
Now he cool, calm and collected!
You donezo!
But go ‘head and mean-mug your idol
Just know you still a fan, and up close, I can see the front, Ro(w)
1-0, pussy
[Round 1: Roheezy]
Y’all ready!?
So, this my sixth battle ever…wow
Said, to face a Vancouver icon, it’s an honor just to spar
I’m facing a legend, guys
With six times the battles, on the Dot, he’s been a star
Personally, I can’t wait to be 40 battles deep…
Battling a rookie on the bottom of the card!?
You fucking loser!
He be tryna study battle rap like it’s some academic nuisance
Front to back he’s read the blueprint
Now in comes a challenge
I’mma knock you out that bracket, get your tax assessment ruined
Gas chamber vers’ euthanasia, you got passive execution
Surface level flow like lily pads, he’s never movin’
You droppin’ in the ranks, I’m the last cadet recruited
Bad military posture: as it stands, you’re getting booted
And I don’t really give a single fuck that your pen is proven
If you don’t rap, project, or move your arms, you can’t expect improvement
What I’m saying is your rounds will never have no depth or movement
If all you do is force a multi verse to add dimension to it!
But you told PoRich, “I am Shakespeare reborn.”
Wow! What a blueprint for an ability
Capturing the human mind through his verse with similes
Quoting random facts about the universe and history
Use Jupiter for imagery, the moon and Earth soliloquies
It’s almost as amazing as losing your virginity!
He’s the Battle Rap Shakespeare!
Talkin’ like the 1500s ‘cause brodie’s a mess
Saying shit like, “I live in a shire.”
That’s what I don’t even get!
One shot at your bro’s dome and he’ll be goin’ to rest
Now he’s really spilling Olde English ‘cause his homies are dead!
The Battle Rap Shakespeare
Quote-unquote “Vancouver’s best”
Levels above this like the balcony, I’ll throw you to your death
Watch who you lookin’ down upon or die next to him: Romeo and Juliet!
But um, he be reading Socrates, quoting Greek philosophy
Tryna be the monarchy of this, like he is Constantine
This ain’t your home or life’s work, I think he need an Odyssey
Away from this art form that he steal from constantly
The Battle Rap Shakes-
Nah, you the battle rap colonizer, leeching off the scene
Whitewashing hip-hop so you can lead a colony
Try to blend his two worlds like, “To be or not to be…”
You read it wrong, ‘cause this a culture you should see as not to seize!
Plus your SoundCloud’s a ghost town, those verses type lame
Nobody listens to your music, bro, it’s hurtin’ my brain
Of course you’re Shakespeare reborn…
Your whole career, you’ve had a total of, like, 39 plays!
Time
[Round 2: Illipsis]
Aaaaaa-nyways…
You guys know that one kid in class
Every time a question’s asked, hand is lifted in the sky?
Isn’t really bright, just exhibits a participant’s delight
And no one else is volunteering
Teacher hits him with a sigh…
Proceeds to have the least correct response you have witnessed in your life?
Fuckin’ crickets is the vibe
Persistent, keeps givin' it a try
As the collective goodwill consistently declines
I say that to say this…I watched your battles
And that imagery describes what every shitty little line in this imbecile’s miserable existence has been like!
“No! No! No! I’m Lexx Luthor’s hidden gem!”
Hey, and the description fits him right
‘Cause what it really signifies, is that it’s his Kryptonite!
Son different!
While we’re bringin’ things to light, you paid Illmac to watch your battle?

[Roheezy]
No

[Illipsis]
(*chuckles*) You just buyin’ clout in bulk, dawg
Drank your own Kool-Aid, they watched you die
I think that represents the CVLT (cult) wrong
But “No! No! No, I’m huge on TikTok!”
From those skits? Those songs?
Beats me - all I got is Ro’ bought (robot) followers, like Ultron
Hold on! I’m Mega-Man!
Big weapon, secondhand
TikTok? The clip longer than his fans’ attention span!
I mean, Mike checked him, damn
He isn’t really swole
Couldn’t try and intimidate the boul?
Not within your operating system of control?
You couldn’t even run that with Mike!?
Ro’ soft, and you can see that in the windows to his soul!
Footnote!
Looks like your main page application stuck
I mean, we froze that now
Your window’s closed
Alt + F4: for pushin’ this shortcut, I could shut your whole program down!
With no background, I watched your battles…and I was pretty impressed
I had no idea…this was how cringe it could get!
If you black out, it’s ‘cause you bought the tix to attend
If I black out, you’ll flatline, then world domination is imminent next
I’m just tryna give him a sense
These are really different events!
If Ro’ act hard, see how quick he can get
Punched out in his own backyard - I really swing for the fence!
Speaking of swingin’ at home, your girl knew it was that time the minute we met
She went down so quick, thought it’d give her the bends
She always down, like a diver, must have a trick with her breath
I said, she good for the throat like Fisherman’s Friend!
AY! Whoa! The kid is upset!
Lil’ man, he big mad, though
I was really just lettin’ this man know
That it was triple X when I hit that, Ro’(w), like Tic-Tac-Toe!
Bro, bars! Best believe me I brought Roheezy a lot
Before the shot, he hasn’t been shot yet
After the shot, he has been shot!
GOD!
Time
[Round 2: Roheezy]
This the part where I clown son’s attributes
We don’t relate to what you say ‘cause it sounds unnatural
You just use this little system - it’s a weapon, and a little bit pretentious
All you gotta do is start with a really smart bar, and then build into aggression
Like…”I’m refreshing on the page like the Internet broke!
Think lying on me gives you traction? That’s a slippery slope
Bro! Bro!
Big blade on me! Stick it and go
Your broad givin’ me throat
Got brains in the back like the occipital lobe!
WHOA!”
NO!
One second, he’s a vegan that speaks with a thick lisp
Next second, bro is wildin’ and eager to dish fists
Goes from Shakespeare to gun bars
Peep how he switch quick
Look, y’all! I found him - it’s Theatre Kid Twist!
You majored in History, yes?

[Illipsis]
That’s facts

[Roheezy]
Guess the job market’s tough and you can’t live with your rent
Like an epilepsy victim with the strobe light warnings that the cinema gets
‘Cause you will probably die without a stimulus check!
I can guess how predictable his preparation is
Every stage he hits, the crowd gets a catered dish
In CRB, it’s nerd shit, legends, tales, and myths
But in BeastMODE, he’s servin’ white like a segregationist
I would join you in that field, but instead of weighin’ bricks
I’m talking business with the higher-ups: elevator pitch!
Y’all ever made a list of your favorite MCs? Me too
His list? Trash!
Number 1: Aesop Rock
Number 50: Jay-Z, like, “Mmm, he’s cool.”
Fuck that list! And fuck your CDs too
Should’ve had someone else order it like Keith Lee’s food
In B.C., dude battled Joey Gambello, and the wise guy won
Now it’s free casino chips: you can try my luck
I’m only playin’ in this game to fuck the guidelines up
And take a risk on this craft like the Mile High Club
Y’all see him as your Savior with a Christ-like touch
Nuit Blanche: I came to set a white knight up
Your pain is self-inflicted, I won’t bite my tongue
It’s like you got this Justin Bieber 2009 type cut
‘Cause you may have groomed ‘em with your style, but your highlights suck!
Keyboard gangster! Wi-Fi thug!
We’ll shoot you on Toronto’s longest street
Why die young (Yonge)?
This ain’t a Stanley Kubrick movie or no sci-fi cut
I had a ball masked up, now his Eyes Wide Shut
But fuck a bedrest - he’s on his deathbed delirious
Like hormonal imbalances, I got this bitch bleeding out for extended periods
Get pressed! I’m watchin’ Ill’ duck and swerve me
Tryna climb up to the top and the buildup was dirty
Shot him by the roof, I still busted 30
Dead-center by the rafters like Bill Russell jersey!
Heard me!?
Time

[Round 3: Illipsis]
He said I’m an Aesop Rock fan
That’s somethin’ I’m not gon’ dismiss
But I’ll be poppin’ his lid
You know, I’m at a status ‘None Shall Pass’
And beatin’ me is ‘Impossible, Kid’!
See, I didn’t even wanna do this battle, but then I reminisced
High school, spent it doin’ Twist impressions
Just to find out I’d impressed him with the clips
Or Charron, offerin’ advice at the inception of this shit
He was already livin’ the dream, but off top, he knew how much I’d benefit from it
Or how much it meant whenever Bender sent a message to the kid
Or seein’ Pat live, the immense privilege, gettin’ to witness the best that ever lived
My whole development essentially exists within this legacy of legends in the 6
And now, everything has switched, and I’m the one acceptin’ this generation in
So I didn’t want to…but I gotta tell you…
Man, you should definitely quit!
You!? Would faint from blood loss, you had half my battle scars
Where you would tap out, I would catch a charge like a Mastercard
You wrote Pokemon songs, and that’s bizarre
‘Cause all you do is struggle to make a splash like a Magikarp
I don’t care if you brought half Jafar’s palace guard
One hit, turn a glass jaw to jagged shards
Like an arrowhead - now that’s a bar
Nah, an arrowhead - that’s a bar
Nah - air Ro’ head - that’s the bar!
Naw! Air Ro’ head like the Avatar!
Nah, you’re an arrowhead ‘cause you just get strung along to a point, but don’t really travel far
I’m too expensive, and that was jarring for Ro(e) like caviar!
Oh, it’s ’bout to be a bad trip for him, resulting in your ego death
He hasn’t seen no checks
Ain’t even reach the point of sale - what a P.O.S.
I started gettin’ salt and pepper in my beard, man, I’m a seasoned vet
On a card with Pete, Ro’s gambling with his life like a Pete Rose bet!
I’m not your peer, Ro’!
Had to put my foot down and spin on him, it’s a pirouette
This isn’t fair, Ro’!
Still had to keep it under wraps for the longest like Imhotep
On TikTok, you live on borrowed time
Not on my watch - you thought I couldn’t beat Ro’, Lexx (Rolex)?
Fuck he talkin’ ‘bout!?
Haunted house!
These folks just throwin’ plates around, and now your spot is gettin’ repossessed!
Like my guy from Cali caught a body, this a 3-0 flex
The trio set, I got it from A to Z, bro
Best in Canada, I put the “eh” in AMG Mode
You? We could done this at your hot yoga studio, it’d be no sweat
I am He, Ro’
You haven’t lived long enough not to die the hero yet
Shit, I don’t think that he knows the cheat codes yet
It’s your home league, bro
I ain’t seen Ro’ go BeastMODE yet!
This a full clip! I ain’t even have to reload yet
Somebody shoulda told your little NeoPet that he isn’t seein’ Neo yet!
Oh, I’m groovy with the powers: “Oh, behave”
This kid’s got no class like a pro-D day
Beat me? Based on how it’s goin’ these days…
I don’t think you’d even see Ro(e) beat Wade
And I still killed the-
It’s Illipsis!
Canadian King, killer, I’m in business
You shit-talk, I talk that shit…it’s a big difference

[Round 3: Roheezy]
You get the clip like you Anderson, you really get the movie
That Avatar bar was hard…two weeks ago, when Klassik said it to me
(Facts - watch it)
Ay, come here, I gotta talk to you really quickly, ‘cause, um…
I’m the fifth minority you’ve battled, brother
In a Black culture - y’all gonna gas this vulture?
The other 35 are white rappers - those are actual numbers
Charlie Chaplin…
Be quiet, white man! Your footage has no color!
One of my homies had a stash and went to court eventually
Before that, he was on the porch to flip a ki’
Waiting on a brick to restore his energy
A bird gave him new life like a stork delivery
Fuck a corporate entity!
A 9-to-5 ain’t make my pockets, so I’d grind to rake deposits
B.C. and A.D.: I split my time based on the profit (Prophet)!
King of the Dot try to make him hot, but now there’s artists on reserve
You can win Champion of the Year, get all of what you earn
Still go from clutching trophies to a graveyard like Voldemort’s return!
Shoot a shot and let him burn
Get the pump out like asthma when I snuff out this rapper
Find you through common sense (scents) and get a bloodhound to track ya
Squeeze this gun quick
Twitch moderator: all I need is one click, and I could shut down the chatter
But real talk…these past weeks been a little exhausting
Got family members sick in the hospital
I was stressed in real life while Illipsis was talking
Almost didn’t register this plate like visitor parking at my bitch’s apartment
They say we’re both Canadian, but there’s a difference in our backgrounds
I grew up out in Brampton, with immigrants who mad Brown
Indians that drank Crown, whippin’ in a cab now
You grew up out West with privilege and handouts
The Vancouver vegan…I’ll turn bro into a vegetable
With loaded Uzi’s, let it go
The Frozen movie, breath is cold
His heart rate declinin’ - (*gasp*)
Homie’s slowly losin’ breath control
Told his clique, “Track the beats per minute. Go and use a metronome.”
Get clapped!
White boy don’t got no rhythm, so his tonal use is terrible
The vocals you project so unemotional, it’s getting old
Like voters who won’t ever go support a truce in Mexico!
Far as white nerdy rappers in this Culture? You’ve been etched in stone
But Home’s improvement passed you ‘cause he knows the blueprints just like Hov’s
So there’s truly levels shown
But there’s a parallel between us…
You write poems to reflect and grow
I only use my music as a moment to express the soul
On the other side, copin’ with the beat
And leavin’ demons in the booth like an overdue confessional
If you only knew the pai-
Nah, homie, you would never know
I used to have an accent
When I spoke, they threw me hella jokes
Pokin’ fun until we’d poke ‘em back
Open wounds and flesh and bone
Carvin’ out their name…
The Last of Us adapted
‘Cause it started out a game, but now I’m goin’ through these EPISODES!
So shout out to King of the Dot, ‘Ganik and Gully for havin’ me
Fuck the Battle Rap Shakespeare - this ended as a tragedy