[Round 1: Dumbfoundead]
Shoutout to King of the Dot and OVO one time
For flying out Jet Li on a Learjet ācause Lil' Romeo must die
My last battle was Battle of the Bay 5
That was 5 years ago when I was āyayā high
I feel paranoid on a yay high
āCause with these cameras, this host, and this little pussyā¦
Am I on Dateline?
I could kill you in six seconds: I should just make Vines
Letās save time, just say ātime!ā
Heās probably gon' say some Asian shit
And pull out shoguns, Peking Duck, Ching Chang Chong
Wait, slow that down, did I accidentally diss you?
I said pull out yo' guns, peek and duck, ching chang chong
That shit is easy as fuck, I donāt like to slow it down
When I spit a line, I want yāall to know it now
You always over-explain
That shit is overly done, aināt yāall over it yet?
Ironic, the shortest motherfuckers always tryna go over your head
How you that small?
You look like a male Bratz doll
You know I actually auditioned for Wild 'N Out
Then I looked in the mirror and said, āThatās not what Iām about.ā
They had me rhyme in a Chinese accent
I told 'em Iām from Korea town
Then they asked the black guy next to me to wear a wig and a Madea gown, yāall know him as Conceited now
Youāre a D-list celebrity, Iād rather keep my integrity
Iād make more money in my sleep while you sleep with the enemy
I couldnāt have bought my condo with Con dough
I got Dumb moneyāand thatās not a pun, dummy
Now I got young money for the artist fee
And you also got young money for modeling the cover of Carter 3
Look at his baby ass with his baby tats
You buy your guns at Baby Gap
Your first job, you babysat
When you throw out punches they feel like baby daps
Your favorite rapper is Baby Bash
Thatās not a punchline, thatās real⦠baby facts
[Round 1: Conceited]
Listen here, Dumbfoundead
Now you going against the hoodie type
The gunāll spit, give you a bunch of tips
I aināt talking about good advice
N***a you aināt cookin' me, the only thing you cook is rice
Aight, which one of yāall Dumbfoundead
Both of you n***as look alike
So yāall finally put Dumbfoundead in front of me
They say you are what you eat
No wonder why this cat kept duckin' me
N***a, me and this Chin shoulda been battled
I woulda served ya and flamed ya
Don't think that the Dot is determined to save ya
āCause they gave me the body I always wanted
Like a personal trainer
So Iāll pull up on that set you rep
Get your stomach cut without doing sit-ups
You better dip, it wonāt work out
If I spot you with the pounds that I lift up
When the MAC's out you aināt doing squat
Yāall better see Dumb bail when I send this Chin up
This kid Dumb is the worst dressed in battle rap history
I mean I hate your shoes, b
You only roll in somethin' fresh when you makin' sushi
And what you wear doesnāt match
Like the lips and words in Asian movies
Yāall move yāall mouths a million times for just one word
And it still be offāwhy?
They be like, ā...........Hi.ā
The sound effects never on time either
Itās either like *kshch* or *huhhuh**kpshpsh*
But try that kung fu shit with me, Iāma grip the 8
You donāt want me to cook your noodle
Well, get low, mane, like whatās on your dinner plates
Donāt believe anything this ninja say
Or one word he spit today
āCause just like your YouTube clip
We know everything you kickin' fake
This n***aās name is Jonathan Park
Thatās not a punchline, thatās real facts!
No cab when you see an arm wave
You can get hit with the knife
But a toast'll spread when I give Park, Kās
Iāll show up at your front door with a large 8
Right where John stay, itāll be lookin' like Monopoly
āCause I got the metal piece at Park place
You will get wetāgrab a poncho, n***a!
I point with the 9 like Rondo, n***a
And you gonna hear a lot of steel like Iām a Toronto n***a
[Round 2: Dumbfoundead]
How you say that kick video was fake? That shit was real
Itās as real as you grip the steel
If I canāt kick it, yo, your bitches will
There's perks to being short, I donāt care what yāall think
When you got small feet, you can get the Jordans all cheap
When you order a shot at the bar, thatās a tall drink
He got three hot tubs at the crib, all sinks
I know these short jokes are getting old
But I aināt even gotta use those
Theyāre just starting to grow on me, but you wonāt
So I had some of my North Korean homies hack into your emails
I found some very interesting details
Keywords like latex, shaved legs, jpegs of Taye Diggs
All types of gay shit
But I know you aināt gay, ācause you into Asians
But yours look like cavemen
I stay with a bad bitch, what you think is a dime is maybe, ehhh, 6
Like, if you went to a Thai whore house
They be last pick and have dicks
I get the top hoes at the Brothel
You couldnāt reach the top row at a Costcoās
Itās impossible, youāre hella short
You, Emmanuel Louis, Gary Coleman, Martin Lawrence
Lil' Bow Wow, Big Bow Wow, and Kevin Hart
Black Hollywoodās seven dwarves
A bunch of midgets in the woods living large
You seem all tough in Hollywood
But itās all an act in the end like Bollywood
When Iām talking K pop, I aināt talking Gangnam Style
Iām talking Gangland files
In L.A. words can get you killed like a hangman round
Lately the battle scene has gotten Iggy Azalea
But I aināt talking black and white
Iām talking make-believe and actual life
Hear how you glorifying guns and probly gon' have a blast tonight
Thereās some kid in every major city in America whoās gon' get blast tonight
You have imaginary guns
Some people have mandatory ones
I seen them Wild 'N Out reruns of you rapping having fun
The homie died the other day, the news aināt ran the story once
Sometimes I think we both forget that we both sell rhymes
But hook us up to a polygraph, bet I wonāt fail mine
With your folktales of dope sales, aināt no shells flyin'
āCause real rounds donāt end when the host yells "Time!"
[Round 2: Conceited]
You and your whole Asian gang, Iāll just use one fist to hit ya
Iāll put my right hand on that yellow circle: thatās Twister, n***a
Double deuce-deuces with these little blickers
Iāll grip the trigger, you could get shot down by the twins
More than Roger in Sister Sister
Iām quick to grip a Wesson or a 12
Iāll let the weapon give you hell
Just like your fortune cookies you can get the message from a shell
You cuff your bitch like she in jail, but she give me mad choch
Yeah, youāre part of the Swim Team, I give her back strokes
She give me fast throat, and do good when she south
Since she eat with chopsticks, she should be used to having some wood in her mouth
But she has the flattest ass and chest I have ever seen
She's such a small skeezer
If I was you I wouldnāt be wrestling to hit that raw neither
I mean she's from China, why would you take her?
No matter what she rock, nothing big shows
From any angle that John seen her
This large nina make sure your nephew and niece are slaughtered
And your aunt may find your uncle been killed like Peter Parker
N***a, the clip will be on your head, you donāt need a barber
And that shit will āBOW!ā like you when you greet your father
Iāll kick in his door, walk in his home
Start wavin' like Iām finna go
When Iām lickin' aināt no envelope
Iāma hit your sensei, your grandfather, Iāma kill your folks
Iāma bring the Maggie to that yellow family like the Simpsons show
Yāall n***as know Iām gonna sling him
Them 9ās Iāma bring him
And I bring the war to Park like Wild Water Kingdom
Iām bringin' the heavy can
Any problems, Iāll let the semi blam
If things go south, Park, soon as you walk Iāll
Make sure you get caught, man, how can he stand?
Yāall catch that? Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Stan?
Man, thatās why this chinky hates me
If itās problems Iāll get the shit jumpin' like Mr. Hanky
Now lastly they told me
By the looks of his eyes he might be sleepin' on you
So I better come with it, I should be scared of his freestyles
And be horrified of Dumb's writtens
Had me like, āShit, in this battle, Dumbfoundead gonna cook and eat meā¦ā nah, just kiddin'
SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST DISSED YOU!
I said, Dumbfoundead gonna cook and eat me? Nah, just kittens
HAHH!!!
[Round 3: Dumbfoundead]
Iām opening up for Pat Stay and Charron, shake my head
I started this nerdy shit, this the motherfuckin' thanks I get?
I get the club going up like iLoveMakonnen
You get in the club droppin' names like, āIām with Nick Cannon.ā
He rocks expensive shit and licks his lips, LL Cool J over here
Difference is youāve been rappin' about dudes your whole career
By the way, whatās all that shit on your neck?
Whatās all that shit mean?
Oh, I get it, we all make mistakes when weāre fifteen
This is where me, Tunechi and Wiz link
We got grown-man tats, lil tyger, that shit is kid ink
How much work could they done on you?
Matter of fact, thatās the only time youāve had a gun on you
Ratatatat butterflies on your back
And some Chinese letters that donāt mean jack
Every battle you do is a short film
Oh, you got unlimited ammo?
Does that mean I could have force fields?
Does that mean I could have orcs, swords, shields
A giant hammer that Thor wields?
Does that mean I could have orbs, pills
Potions to level up more skill?
Just ācause you talk about guns doesnāt make it more real
Youāre a dork still!
While you and your crew were playin' Gangster: The Gathering
I went on a couple dates with your family
Met his mama on Tinder, thought we had something special
I leaned in to kiss her
She said āSLOW IT DOWN! I JUST MET YOU!ā
So I hollaād at his auntie, real polite, real respectful
I thought sheād want me
But she said: āSLOW IT DOWN! THATāS MY NEPHEW!"
My last resort was his sister, I knew Iād be successful
I was like, all aggressive with it, like, āLet me hit it!ā
She said: āSLOW IT DOWN! IāMA LET YOU!ā
Itās funny how you think Organik is your friend
But heās just exploiting you, heās like Nick Cannon at the end
Yo, but after this, I may never have to battle rap again
But you, youāll be back up here again
Battling with him, battling with them
Battling with enemies, battling with friends
Wait, whatās your name, sir? Jim? Youāll be battling with Jim!
For you, itās a never-ending battle and the battle never ends
The end.
[Round 3: Conceited]
We was supposed to battle 2009 in Grind Time
With the bars you ran, so what we need relay for?
You was pissed, I was buzzin'
If we battled, you would be a corpse
So that shows I been made John mad in ā09 like EA Sports
I mean I thought you would sign a deal
You mad ācause my views are climbin' mills?
I know that shit was drivin' him crazy
Like when you behind the wheel
I shoot and fire steel thatāll pop at ya
And I light 8 sticks like itās Hanukkah
Just to get you capped like a yarmulke
That erase this mark like a swastika
I load and flash steel: thatās photographers
And the can itāll cap it all like Ottawa
Yo, Iām boxin' ya, if we brawl up in this place
Youāll get knuckles all up in ya face
And your head be knocked-off like the Jordans that yāall make
So yāall go and gave me this Chino in TO
Who eats soup named miso, and heās called a hero?
N***a, I will take every dollar you got if your gwap got zeroes
Like that movie they was shooting, Heat
Al Pacinoās in the cast and Rob De Niro
SLOW IT DOWN! I JUST DISSED YOU!
I said weāre shooting heat
Iāll put Chinos in a cast and rob dinero
You take this Asian pride shit so far
Your favorite battle rapper is probably Math
I mean thereās nothin' left to talk 'bout
Youāre so Asian, when you get hungry, you argue with your girl on purpose so she can put you in the dog house
You take this Asian pride shit so far, you probably love Ryu
And your second favorite battle rapper's Tsu Surf
āCause he puts his rhymes in subtitles
I should let the snub light you right now
Youāll let the pipe blaow? N***a, pipe down!
You aināt got the Magnum for protection to pop Con, Dumb
Itās not in your lifestyle
I need you to tell me right now
Why do you use āRāsā instead of āLāsā when you speak?
He be like, āHerro! My favorite rapper is Ril Wayne.ā
I mean, now thatās the truth, I aināt racist
I donāt know if thatās somethin' you do ācause youāre Asian
But in this battle Iāll give you a L so you can use it in your language
That Ruger get to bangin'
Put you in your place if you comin' for Con dough
Go realer with the bananas
For the monkey business wherever Con go
Why would you think a 9 would miss?
Bullets have no name, but they still comin' for John though
Yāall know S.O.N.S. created a lane for any battler that has bars
Even when you Asians will break
And somebody down and killin' 'em, thatās ours
No, when you Asians will break
And somebody down and killin' 'em, thatās SARS
So even if he did say heāll burn me like ether when he busts guns
These blickers kick back like 3 Ninjas
You Rocky? Put the Colt to your tum tum
And if you did have a gun, you would give nobody the bucks
You like Lush One