Human Kitten
Self-Diagnosis
Caught in between lines
This is not my time
You try to fail
Just a ghost of a past self that you don't know very well
Emptied all my pockets in front of your highness
To prove to everyone that I'm not as rich as they thought I was
We're just emulating past behaviors that we've witnessed
As adolescents, subconsciously mirroring our parents
I know I'm not your therapist, I'm just trying to be your friend
The only real way to grow is to accept that you had a role
In why the reason things had to end
What's left to discover?
Except maybe another world
Hopefully one you'll love
Full of questions answered by people
That actually know what they're talking about
I broke down in front of a Chick-fil-A
And I just hope one day things will be okay
[Outro, spoken]
I was just thinking, it wasn't a chemical imbalance and it wasn't drugs and alcohol. I think it was much more that I have lived an incredibly American life. This idea that if I could just achieve X and Y and Z, that everything would be okay
There's a thing in the book about how when somebody leaps from a burning skyscraper. It's not that they're not afraid of falling anymore. It's that the alternative is so awful. And so then you're invited to consider what could be so awful that leaping to your death would seem like an escape from it. And I don't know if you have any experience with this kind of thing, but it's worse than any kind of physical injury
You may be in the old days what was known as a spiritual crisis, feeling as though every axiom in your life turned out to be false, and there is actually nothing. And that you are nothing. And it's all a delusion, and you have-
You're so much better than everybody 'cause you can see that this is just a delusion, and you're so much worse because you can't fucking function. It's really horrible. I don't think that we ever change. I'm sure that I still have those same parts of me. I'm trying really hard to find a way not to let them drive. You know?
I'm okay. Goodnight