[Verse 1]
I forget how the Funland was won
I forget if this was ever fun
I just learned these players only play with you
To grief you
Alexs and Jesses in their Sunday best
Clutchin' their swords, sighing, "What a mess"
I just learned these players try and save you
'Cause they hate you

[Pre-Chorus]
Too high a fence
For a simple player
To jump above it
They slammed the iron-door
On my whole server
The one thing I wanted

[Chorus]
Now I'm runnin' with my armor unenchanted
Screamin', "But, Iron-Golem, I love him"
I'm havin' his baby
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm tellin' him to craft it through the fences
No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want
[Verse 2]
Dutiful player, all my builds were planned
Vines spread onto my cobblestone hand
Growin' up like glowstone sometimes means
Not growin' up at all
He was chaos, he was raiding
Bedroom eyes like trading
Soon enough, the players had convened
Down at the village trade-centre

[Pre-Chorus]
"Stay away from her"
The pillagers
Griefed too much
Notch knows the words
We never heard
Just icy-fast boats and true love

[Chorus]
Now I'm runnin' with my armor unenchanted
Screamin', "But, Iron-Golem, I love him"
I'm havin' his baby
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm tellin' him to craft it through the fences
No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want
[Post-Chorus]
I'll tell you something right now
I'd rather burn my whole base down
Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'
I'll tell you something 'bout my good username
It's mine alone to disgrace
I don't cater to all these withers dressed in villager’s clothing

[Bridge]
Notch save the most judgmental creepers
Who say they want what's best for me
Sanctimoniously building bases I'll never see
Thinkin' it can change the enchantment
Of my heart when he touches me
And counteract the potionary
And undo the destiny
You ain't gotta pray for me
Me and my wild boy and all of this wild seed
If all you want is bedrock for me
Then it's just white noise, and it's just my choice

[Verse 3]
There's a lot of players in the village that I
Bestow upon my fakest smiles
Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer
We came back when the lava turned into obsidian
Went to my parents and they came around
All the OP players are still holdin' out, but fuck 'em, it's over
[Chorus]
Now I'm shiftin’ in my armor in the sun and
Even my iron-golem just loves him
I'm his lady
And, oh my God, you should see your faces
Time, doesn't it give some perspective?
And, no, you can't come to the wedding
I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want

[Post-Chorus]
I'll tell you something right now
You ain't gotta pray for me
Me and my wild boy and all of this wild seed
(He was chaos, he was raiding)
If all you want is bedrock for me
Then it's just white noise, and it's just my choice

[Outro]
Screamin', "But, Iron-Golem, I love him"
I'm having his baby
No, I'm not
But you should see your faces
But, oh my God, you should see your faces
(He was chaos, he was raiding)
(He was chaos, he was raiding)