[Intro]
Yeah!

[Verse 1]
And if your heart stops beating
I'll be here wondering
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life

[Pre-Chorus]
And if you get to heaven
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end, and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this

[Chorus]
Have you heard the news that you're dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway

[Post-Chorus]
Oh, take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned
And wouldn't it be great if we were dead? Oh, dead
[Verse 2]
Tongue-tied and oh, so squeamish
You never fell in love
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life

[Pre-Chorus]
And if you get to heaven
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end, and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this

[Chorus]
Have you heard the news that you're dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway

[Post-Chorus]
Oh, take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand?
And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?

[Bridge]
And in my honest observation
During this operation
Found a complication in your heart
So long, 'cause now you've got (Now you've got)
Maybe just two weeks to live
(Is that the most the both of you can give?)
[Breakdown]
One, two, one, two, three, four!
La la la la la, la la la la la la, la la la la la la la, well, come on
La la la la la, la la la la la la, la la la la la la la, oh, motherfucker

[Outro]
If life ain't just a joke (la, la, la, la, la!)
Then why are we laughing? (la, la, la, la, la, la!)
If life ain't just a joke (la, la, la, la, la, la, la!)
Then why are we laughing?
If life ain't just a joke (la, la, la, la, la!)
Then why are we laughing? (la, la, la, la, la, la!)
If life ain't just a joke (la, la, la, la, la, la, la!)
Then why am I dead? Dead!