[Verse 1]
It's getting late, I have an inkling
That you would rather stay out drinking
You're a dangerous little pisshead
Drinking more than you need to, babe, that ain't no way for a girl to behave
Look, even though you're proper fit
You kinda put me off because you smell a bit
Like a cross between an ashtray and the sofa down the pub
Darling, give your tongue a scrub, what?
Every weekend, out on the town
You only ever stop when it all falls down
You can't string a sentence, legs don't work
Next day drinks cause your head still hurts
Your friend was pissed, you had more than she did
Face it, love, you drank more than you needed
I've tried reading, you've tried reading
Self-help books but they're misleading

Please, love, you're getting worse by the day!

[Hook 1]
Look, you spilt Chardonnay all over you
And I still hang around, there's no question you're fit
So I still tell myself I'm in love with you
But your hair smells of fags and your breath's fucking toxic
I'm only telling you truth
Your toxic breath's fucking rank
And I don't need no proof
Cause your sheets smell of gin, and your breath's fucking toxic
[Verse 2]
I'm worried now that you're addicted
Cause you more than binge, you're unrestricted
I lay awake in bed at night
Thinking about your liver and it makes me shiver
I look at your smile and remember why
You're the sweet apple of my eye
If you carry on drinking, sinking into
Copious amounts of spirits, liquour
Lager, cider, you'll get wider
And when you die, your mum will cry
I'll be right there, sat beside her
Tryna hide her from the awful truth

That her daughter was a fucking alky!

[Hook 2]
Look, you spilt Chardonnay all over you
And I still hang around, there's no question you're fit
So I still tell myself I'm in love with you
But your hair smells of fags and your breath's fucking toxic
Look at when we have sex (and that ain't that often)
It smells like I'm in a brewery
I don't know where we go next
Cause your sheets smell of gin, and your breath's fucking toxic
[Verse 3]
Monday night's just a bottle of Pinot
Tuesday, yet more bottles of Vino
Wednesday night, and you take a night off
Thursday, you're back on the Smirnoff
Friday night is the cocktail menu
Saturday you're getting thrown out the venue
Sunday, you lay comatose
Wouldn't be surprised if you overdose
Nah, not at all
Cause you're a liability, yo

[Hook 3]
Look, I spilt Pinot G all over me
And I still hang around, there's no question you're fit
So I still tell myself I'm in love with you
But your hair smells of fags and your breath's fucking toxic
Look, you spilt Chardonnay all over you
And I still hang around, there's no question you're fit
So I still tell myself I'm in love with you
But your hair smells of fags and your breath's fucking toxic