[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY
VS
COLE PHELPS
BEGIN

[Verse 1: Cole Phelps]
Hello Vault Boy, I'm gonna kick your ass
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
I will use your gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
You're such a little bitch, boy, no wonder daddy ran away
My name is Cole Phelps, hoe, from L.A. Noire
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window
To unlock the door, but instead you use a lock pick and a cord
Ouch, ouch, hear that burn? Ain't that a kick in the head?
No holes in the boat, eat irradiated bread
You let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to fucking Megaton
You're a vilified villain, and I'm taking you in
Have you freakin' question by my partner, Herschel Biggs?

[Verse 2: Vault Boy]
My name is Vault Boy and I am a Swift Learner (Woo)
Your games are a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar
That game L.A. Noire is a Bloody Mess (Ugh)
I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying presence (Ha ha)
I am called Lord Death, I'm a real lady killer (Ayy)
Maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers (Maybe)
I'm a rad child, you're just a stupid piece of shit (Bitch)
I solve cases on terminals cuz I'm a Computer Whiz (Bitch)
All of my companions make everything easy
And guess what? None of them hate me (Ha)
I gotta strong back, I carry all of my junk
It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk (You leave your pistol in the trunk)
Nuka Cola, Sarsaparilla, drinking Victory
Between you and me, you're always crashing in a tree
And I will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
So stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm
[Verse 3: Cole Phelps]
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise, bitch
Doing what I do makes me cha-ching
I know where things are when I hear *ding ding*

[Verse 4: Vault Boy]
Oh please, you got washed out your ass (Bitch)
My currency is decent cause I have some bottle caps (Cha-ching)
I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earl a deal
You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, shit, I did, now go squeal

[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES