[Intro]
Dear Lily Allen

[Verse 1]
Remember when you pretended, Lily
That you were truly independent, Lily?
Faking like you made it all alone
But you were legally with Regal, part of Parlophone
Oh yes
So when you lectured me
I thought I'd fileshare my thoughts on your MP3, Lily

Now first I must sing your praises
I love your singing but I'll just say this:
I saw on your MySpace pages
Saying filesharing's a new ice age, but the
Industry's a recent innovation
Music's been alive, thriving since cavemen
Folk songs so long have had a place in
Communities that you should be amazed at it
Then one day came intellectual property
Meaning if I think a thought, you can't copy me
And if honesty's the best policy
I'd say songs are better off without this monopoly
It'd blatantly be a major fail
If they'd patented the major scale
And downloads don't equate to sales
So taking them away won't make me pay up
Just procludes me from sending your tunes
To my friends, so we all lose in the end
You lose potential fans and we lose
Respect for the fact that you're desperate for cash
But what do you expect from the lass
Who's collecting a fat bank cheque from the man
While her fans are collecting the glasses
For minimum wage they'll spend on her tracks?
[Hook]
Dear Lily, why are you being this silly?
Yours sincerely, Dan Bull
Dear Lily, why are you being this silly?
Yours sincerely, Dan Bull

[Verse 2]
Now please don't be offended, Lily;
I think your new CD's splendid, Lily
Everybody's At It and it's Not Fair
I Could Say, The Fear was Him but He Wasn't There so
Let's go Back to the Start, before 22 -
All music's in the public domain, so Fuck You
It's never the amateurs that's reckon it's damaging us
It's the major labels saying it's fatal;
Like when Napster had to pack up, wrecked by Metallica
The table's turned now - the labels churn out
A new Jezebelinternetelevangelist - and she's fit
With a manuscript that was actually written by Mr. Michael Masnick
Can you get the irony? And by the by, Lily
I like this beat - I hope you don't mind me thieving
Cause even doing a cover song's decried as stealing
But it's alright, still, for you to plagiarise, and preach it -
Don't you believe it's maybe time to rethink, Lily?

Put music back in the hands of the people;
Make the majors and amateurs equal
If anything, labels strangle the freedom
You claim they're saving by banning this evil
That's the actual reason, you see;
And please don't compare sharing to stealing -
I've not took anything off you
I'm just spreading love for what you do
Downloaded your songs for free
Then I bought my mom your CD
She likes it too, she keeps telling me
All because I pirated an MP3
Now I've got Matt Bellamy belling me
Telling me I'm not a fan, I'm the enemy
That's amusing, I've paid enough to see Muse in
My time I could buy them a museum
Did you see them on that programme miming?
Yeah, the pirates are killing live gigs
Maybe we should have a ban CDs appeal -
Then people would pay to see bands for real
[Hook]
Dear Lily, why are you being this silly?
Yours sincerely, Dan Bull
Dear Lily, why are you being this silly?
Yours sincerely, Dan Bull
Dear Lily, why are you being this silly?
Yours sincerely, Dan Bull
Dear Lily, why are you being this silly?
Yours sincerely, Dan Bull

[Outro]
And I don't mean any offence or anything, Lily
I just don't think the issue's as clear cut as you're making out
And I know you're going to carry on making music really
But when you're between the devil and the deep blue sea
You need to stop worrying about pirates, and adjust your sails