[Intro - Spoken]
Alright, so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone
You're just doing your own thing and someone comes out the blue, they're like:
"Alright, whataya saying?"
"Yeah, can I take your digits?'
And you're like, "No, not in a million years, you're nasty, please leave me alone."

[Verse 1]
Cut to the pub on a lad's night out
Man at the bar, 'cause it was his shout
Clocks this bird and she looked okay
She caught him looking and walked his way
"Alright, darlin', you gonna buy us a drink then?"
"Er, no, but I was thinking of buying one for your friend..."
She's got no taste, hand on his waist
Tries to pull away, but her lip's on his face
"If you insist, I'll have a White Wine Spritzer"
"Sorry, love, but you ain't a pretty picture"

[Chorus]
Can't knock 'em out, you can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say ('Er, sorry, yeah, but nah')
"Just get out my face, just leave me alone
And, no, you can't have my number (Why?), 'cause I lost my phone"

[Post-Chorus]
'Oh, yeah, actually yeah, I'm - I'm pregnant
Um, yeah, I'm having a baby in like six months and uh, yeah, yeah...'
[Verse 2]
I recognize this guy's way of thinking
As he walks over, her face starts sinking
She's like, "Ah, here we go"
It's a routine check that she already knows
She's thinkin', "They're all the same"
"Yeah, you alright, baby? You look alright still
Yeah, what's your name?"
She looks in her bag, takes out a fag
Tries to get away from the guy on a blag
Can't find a light - "Here, use mine"
"You see, the thing is I just don't have the time"

[Chorus]
Can't knock 'em out (Can't knock 'em out)
You can't walk away (You can't walk away)
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say ('Er, I'm really sorry, but not this time')
"Just get out my face, just leave me alone
And, no, you can't have my number, 'cause I lost my phone"

[Bridge]
Go away now, let me go
Are you stupid, or just a little slow? (Please fuck off)
Go away now, I've made myself clear (I don't think so)
"Nah, it's not gonna happen, not in a million years!"
[Chorus]
You can't knock 'em out (Can't knock 'em out)
You can't walk away (And you can't walk away)
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say ('Er...')
"Just get out my face, just leave me alone
And, no, you can't have my number, 'cause I lost my phone"

[Chorus]
Can't knock 'em out
You can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the ('Uh, actually, I'm getting married next week') politest way to say
"Just get out my face, just leave me alone ('No, no, seriously')
And, no, you can't have my number, 'cause I lost my phone"

[Outro]
"Er, no my - I've gotta go, my house is on fire! [Laughter]
I've got— I've got herpes!
Err, no, syphilis!
AIDS, AIDS, I got AIDS! [Laughter]
[I forgot my Vagisil!]
Huh? I forgot my Vagisil, yeah, I forgot my, oh shit...
[Smells like off kippers down there]