[Verse 1]
I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here
Your voice sounds so wonderful but your face don't look too clear
Bar maid bring a pitcher, another round of brew
"Alright, let's hear it!"
Why don't we get drunk and screw
"You're on the record!"

[Chorus 1]
Why don't we get drunk and screw?
I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen, honey, I don't think that's true
So why don't we get drunk and screw?

[Interlude]
"I can't wait for 'em to put that label on my live album! You're sounding absolutely wonderful out there, but we have invited the all girls choir from Lima, Ohio down here and we can't hear 'em too well now. We'd like all of you gentlemen out in the audience to just sorta take a break now, sit back and let's let these beautiful women of the nineties tell us how they feel about it. Ladies, are you ready? On the count of four. One, two, three, four."

[Chorus 2]
Why don't we get drunk and screw?
I just bought a waterbed, it's filled up with Elmer's glue
They say you are a snuff queen, let's see what all you macho men can do
Why don't we get drunk and screw?

[Outro]
Oh yeah!
Why don't we get drunk and screw?
I think we better work this out amongst ourselves
Why don't we get drunk and screw?
Oh yeah