[Intro]
"Ohhhh Rock 'n Roll is a scary business
No hit records, no MTV videos
You'll never make it here - scary
NOT!
Let's do it, Coral Reefers

[Verse 1]
Looked in my laptop, what did I see?
A flashin' message says "today, therapy"
Rather walk through fire than converse with my shrink
But I'm getting better, that's what some people think

[Verse 2]
Talk about denial and dysfunctional things
Head's like a bell some days, it dongs and it dings
My brain plays tricks on me, it likes to shift gears
Spend lots of money, but I'm tacklin' my fears

[Chorus]
Vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or MTV hosts
Scare me like vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost

[Verse 3]
Had a dream last night, took a time-travelin' ride
Back to my childhood where those monsters reside
They snack on innocence and dine on self-esteem
But I like to be in touch with what makes me scream
[Chorus]
Vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or MTV host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost

[Bridge]
I was never ever frightened
By the murderer on our block
He nurtured orchids and raised hamsters
The neighborhood is still in shock

[Refrain]
La la la la, la la la la
La la la la, la la la la la la
La la la la, la la la la
La la la la, la la la la la la

[Verse 4]
So many dragons lurking out in the fog
So many crazy people mumblin' monologues
It's not the tales of Stephen King that I've read
I need protection from the things in my head

[Chorus]
Like vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or MTV host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost
[Chorus]
Vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or MTV host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost

[Outro]
"Ohhoooohoooo, it's scary out here in the world of rock n' roll
Ohooohoo, ha ha ha ha ha ha hahahahaha
Scared you, didn't I?
Ha ha ha