You are such a jerk
You are a tearjerker
You don't need a girlfriend
You need a social worker
She's waiting at the airport
You're in your hotel room
With someone who doesn't know you

Everybody always knew
The game that you were playing
You were fooling no-one
So we're glad that you are paying
But still she's gonna cry
Yeah still it's gonna hurt her
But you are a tearjerker
Yes a tear jerk, yeah
A tearjerker
Yes a tear jerk, yeah

These surfaces are shiny
Anything wipes off them
These surfaces are hard
Nothing seems to mark them
Breakfast ends at 10 AM
Do you think we could be through by then?
'Cause breakfast is inclusive
Do you think I'm stupid?
I'm stupid
I'm stupid
You are such a jerk
You are a tearjerker