[Intro: London Yellow]
Ugh
I don't see the fuckin' point anymore
Ugh

[Skit: London Yellow & Jonges]
Are you tired of your friends and family telling you things will get better? (Yeah)
Telling you that if you weren't around anymore that it would affect them negatively and they would be devastated for the rest of their lives?
Yes
Sick of those long boring paragraphs from strangers, saying, "I don't know you, you don't know me" (Mhm)
But, blah blah blah
Yeah, I hate that
Worry no more
Just call Commit Suicide Hotline and we'll help you make the decision that you know is best
Hey, thank you so much for calling the Commit Suicide Hotline
Is there any way I can help you fucking kill yourself?
I can't take it anymore!
Everyone in my school just hates me
My parents are getting fucking divorced again
I just can't deal with this shit!
I just wanna feel loved
I need inspiration
I need love
Ugh, yikes
Just wanna start off by saying you're really fuckin' annoying
Let's get that out of the way
I already don't like you and I haven't even met you
So I don't blame the people at your school for not liking you
You know what you need? (You're right)
You need to kill yourself
If you kill yourself, your parents have no choice but to get back together, that's gonna be a huge trauma
(That makes sense, yeah) The entire human population will benefit from you killing yourself
Kill yourself (Okay)
Kill yourself, you're fuckin' putrid, I hate you!
You're worthless!
You know what? Thanks, I am worthless
Hey, no problem
Ahh, a job well done
We're here to resolve your conflicts by letting you know what you already know by giving you that confidence to make the right decision
Call Commit Suicide Hotline right now
Commit Suicide Hotline is not responsible for any deaths caused by this advertisement
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