[CAPTAIN HAMMER]
It may not feel too classy
Begging just to eat
But you know who does that? Lassie!
And she always gets a treat
So you wonder what your part is
'Cause you're homeless and depressed

But home is where the heart is
So your real home's in your chest

Everyone's a hero in their own way
Everyone's got villains they must face
They're not as cool as mine
But folks, you know it's fine to know your place
Everyone's a hero in their own way
In their own not-that-heroic way

So I thank my girlfriend, Penny

(spoken)
Yeah, we totally had sex

(sung)
She showed me there's so many
Different muscles I can flex
There's the deltoids of compassion
There's the abs of being kind
It's not enough to bash in heads
You've got to bash in minds

Everyone's a hero in their own way
Everyone's got something they can do
Get up, go out and fly
Especially that guy – he smells like poo
Everyone's a hero in their own way
You and you and mostly me and you

I'm poverty's new sheriff
And I'm bashing in the slums
A hero doesn't care
If you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums

(spoken)
Everybody!

Everyone's a hero in their own way

[GROUPIES]
We're heros too

[CAPTAIN HAMMER]
Everyone can blaze a hero's trail
[GROUPIES]
We're just like you

[CAPTAIN HAMMER]
Don't worry if it's hard
If you're not a friggin' 'tard you will prevail

[GROUPIES]
Ahhh

[CAPTAIN HAMMER]
Everyone's a hero in their own way

[GROUPIES]
We're heros too

[CAPTAIN HAMMER]
Everyone's a hero in their—

[DR. HORRIBLE]
*evil laughter*