Neil Patrick Harris
Act 2 Scene 1: My Eyes
[BILLY is in his lab.]

[Track 6. "My Eyes"]

[BILLY]
Any dolt with half a brain
Can see that humankind has gone insane
To the point where I don't know if I'll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the water main
Listen close to everybody's heart
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
And crashing to the ground
I can not believe my eyes
How the world's filled with filth and lies
But it's plain to see, evil inside of me
Is on the rise

[PENNY is visible, a homeless shelter can be discerned from tables and homeless people eating at them. PENNY is sitting with CAPTAIN HAMMER.]

[PENNY]
Look around
We're living with the lost and found
Just when you feel you've almost drowned
You find yourself on solid ground
And you believe there's good in everybody's heart
Keep it safe and sound
With hope, you can do your part
To turn a life around
I cannot believe my eyes
Is the world finally growing wise
'Cause it seems to me, some kind of harmony
Is on the rise[BILLY]
Anyone with half a brain

Could spend their whole life howling in pain

'Cause the dark is everywhere and Penny doesn't seem to care
That soon the dark in me is all that will remain

Listen close to everybody's heart
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes
​and dreams are shattering
​apart
And crashing to the ground
I can not believe my eyes
How the world's filled with
​filth and lies
But it's plain to
​see,
Evil inside
​of me
Is on the rise[PENNY]
Take it slow
He looks at me
​​and seems
​to know
The things that I'm
​afraid to show,
And
​suddenly
I feel
​this glow
And I believe
​there's good in everybody's heart
Keep it safe and
​sound

With hope, you can do your part
To turn a life around
I can not believe my eyes
How the world's finally growing wise

And it's plain to see,

Rapture inside of me
Is on the rise 
[BILLY and PENNY are doing laundry.]

[PENNY]
It is so dumb that we have been coming here for so long and never spoke.

[BILLY]
I know, all those months doing a stunningly boring chore.

[PENNY]
I'm a fan of laundry.

[BILLY]
Psych! I love it!

[PENNY]
The smell of fabric softener.
[BILLY]
MMmmm.

[PENNY]
The feel of warm clothes in your hands.

[BILLY]
So good.

[BILLY gets a bag of frozen yogurt and reaches in and pulls out two frozen yogurts.]

[BILLY]
Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?

[PENNY]
I love it.

[BILLY]
You're kidding? What a crazy random happenstance! Here.

[PENNY]
Thank you.

[BILLY]
So how was your weekend? Did you spend the whole time hunting wild signatures?

[PENNY]
Um, actually, I went on a date...

[BILLY]
Get right outta town. How was that?

[PENNY]
Unexpected. He's a really good-looking guy, and I thought he was kinda cheesy at first...

[BILLY (interrupting)]
Trust your instincts...

[PENNY]
But, he turned out to be totally sweet. Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface.

[BILLY]
And sometimes there's a third, even deeper level and that one is the same as the top surface one.

[PENNY]
Huh?

[BILLY]
Like with pie. So are you gonna see him again?

[PENNY]
I think I will...

[BILLY]
Huh

[PENNY]
Billy?

[BILLY]
Yeah?

[PENNY]
You're driving the spork into your leg.

[BILLY]
So I am. Hilarious. Heh heh heh heh.