Well folks I know I should be saying good night right now
But this is Broadway
And all great Broadway shows have a closing number, an 11:00 number
And oh my gosh, look at the time; it's 11:03
So here we go

[To "Tonight"]

Tonight, tonight
The Tonys were tonight
And Elton's Billy was all the rage
What class, what drive
Now Angela won five
And she hooked up with Poison backstage
With heels as sore as poor Achilles
Three tutu-wearing Billys
Were such a winning sight
Tonight, all three
Won Tony plus they hit puberty

[To "Luck be a Lady Tonight"]

And Geoffrey won a Tony tonight!
Karen won a Tony tonight!
Liza at the Palace
Mr. Ripley's daughter Alice
They all won a Tony tonight!
Credits! That's not going to stop me!
[To "Tonight"]

Chris Sieber - please!
Performing on your knees?
Dude, that only works
To win Golden Globes
I hope, tonight
When they're high as a kite
To be there when the Hair cast disrobes
This show could not be any gayer
If Liza was named mayor
And Elton John took flight
The curtain falls
I'm off to hit some big Tony balls
Goodnight!

Good night everybody! Go see a Broadway show!