[Intro]
"So I've got one more song. I'd like to thank you all very much for coming, it really has been really enjoyable. I've really enjoyed playing these songs, 'cause, like I said this is the first time I've played it acoustic like this in London, in England, and it's really, really nice to just, you know, be at one with the wood. Actually... it's actually plastic. We tried to find a wooden one, but apparently nobody wants real wood pianos anymore, they want black shiny ones, but that wouldn't go with my set, you see. So I had to have a plastic one. Anyway, so, it sounds alright. Yes... hello, hello. So this is the last song and I'm sorry to disappoint, I'm going to play- I'm not gonna play 'Speeding Cars' 'cause I feel- I know, but I will play it another day... in another world... when I do my touring next year, but I feel like I've got to stick to my word here, man. So I'm going to play this song which is called 'Kidding' and I really, really love it. And it was the one that never made it on the album, but probably should've done. In fact, I don't think I ever really, really recorded it properly. I know it was recorded like live somewhere like Joyce Lake[?] or somewhere. I don't even know where that is, but I remember seeing it. So this is kind of- if, if this is a good version and I think it's good enough to go on iTunes, then this will be kind of the first 'official' recorded version of 'Kidding', so that's good. And you'll all be here to witness it. So, a very good night and, yeah, I hopefully, um, you know, some point in the new year I'll have a spanking new, really exciting new record for you. I hope so. Right. Here it is. I've got to sing really high notes. (Vocal warm up) Gotta do that, it helps them come out."

[False Start]
A figure dressed in
The finest attire that money can buy
He's laden with assets, surround...
"You see, I was thinking too much about the fact it's being recorded and then I was thinking 'I'm gonna forget the lyrics, I'm gonna forget the lyrics, I'm gonna forget-' I forgot the lyrics. Sorry."

[Verse 1]
A figure dressed in
The finest attire that money can buy
He's laden with assets to make an impression
Surrounded by roses in a passerby

[Verse 2]
And he lives in a palace
Surrounded by roses in a perfect picture
He's in deep with the shallow
He's fading cause he can't see the sky

[Chorus]
Who are you kidding, mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding, mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding, mister?
I'm so happy that I could sing
Nobody, you're kidding nobody
Nobody but you
[Verse 3]
A dinner with twenty people you hate
And they're hating you more
Talking politely
It's all a show, tell me what is it for?

[Verse 4]
And your laugh is tale-telling
They follow, but you know you're not a funny man
The truth is the meaning of your life is that
You wouldn't have one if you were poor

[Chorus]
Who are you kidding, mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding, mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding, mister?
I'm so happy that I could sing
Nobody, you're kidding nobody
Nobody but you

[Bridge]
Such a shame, sir, such a shame
Such a shame
[Interlude]

[Breakdown]
Such a liar
Who you kidding?
Such a liar, woah
Such a liar
Such a kidder
Who you kidding?

[Chorus]
Who are you kidding, mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding, mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding, mister?
Well, I'm so happy that I could sing
Nobody, you're kidding nobody
Nobody but you

[Outro]
Nobody, you're kidding nobody
Nobody but you, yeah
Nobody, you're kidding nobody
Nobody but you
[Spoken Outro]
"Thank you very much, everyone. I've had a really, really great night. Get home safely and I'll see you in the new year with a new album. Bye! And thank you to James, thank you to James, and Roundhouse and the manager and everyone."