[TOTTENDALE]
My dress! My dress!
My fancy dress
I don't know why I'm wearing it, I must confess
My dress! My dress!
I love my dress
Would someone tell me why I put it on?

[UNDERLING]
Yes! Yes! Your dress
Your fancy dress
'Twas such a pleasure airing it
Restitching and repairing it
God bless your dress!
It's one fine dress!
And I will tell you why you put it on

Wedding bells will ring
Wedding bells will chime
Madam, you're the hostess
And it's happy wedding time

[TOTTENDALE & UNDERLING]
Wedding bells will ding
Wedding bells will dong
Wedding bells will ding-a-ling
And we will ding along
[STAFF]
Your dress! Your dress!
Your fancy dress
We're very, very glad you put it on

[Instrumental door chimes.]

[UNDERLING]
Wedding guests have come

[STAFF]
Wedding guests are here

[ALL]
Wedding guests are at the door
And soon they will appear

[ROBERT]
I'm Robert, the bridegroom
I'm here to marry Janet
That star of Feldzieg's Follies
Whom I love a lot

[GEORGE]
I'm George! That's George!
His best man George
I'm honored to be doing
What a best man ought
(spoken)
Ah, Mrs. Tottendale! Now don't worry, this whole wedding's gonna run like clockwork.

[TOTTENDALE]
Oh, is there going to be a wedding?

[FELDZIEG]
I'm Feldzieg, Producer
I lost my leading lady
I gotta stop this wedding
Or I'm not worth squat

[KITTY]
I'm Kitty! Just Kitty!
I came with Mr. Feldzieg
I'll be a leading lady
If I get my shot[GANGSTER #1]
We're pastry chefs

We cross our hearts
We're pastry chefs
No fakery!

Is what we got 
[GANGSTER #2]
We're pastry chefs
We cross our hearts
We're pastry chefs

A bakery
Is what we got[ALDOLPHO]
Aldolpho! Aldolpho!
My name it is Aldolpho
I am the king of romance
So I kiss a lot

[ALL]
You are the king of romance
So you kiss a lot
Wedding bells will ring!
Wedding bells will chime!
Wedding bells will celebrate
A happy wedding time

Someone hasn't come
Someone isn't here
Where is Janet Van De Graaff
And when will she appear?

[JANET enters.]

It's Janet! It's Janet
It's Janet Van De Graaff

[JANET]
I'm Janet, Janet Van De Graaff
Here to marry Robert Martin
Giving up a life of glamour
To tie a knot

[DROWSY, spoken]
Am I late?

(sung)
I'm the chaperone
Chaperone of Janet Van De Graaff
Maid of honor, friend and confidante
And all that rot

(spoken)
Where's the bar?

[ALL]
A wedding! A wedding!
Hooray!

[UNDERLING, spoken]
It's Prohibition, Madam.

[ALL]
A wedding! A wedding!
How gay!

[DROWSY, spoken]
Good thing I brought my own.

[ALL]
A wedding! A wedding!
Today!

[DROWSY, spoken]
Champagne makes me drowsy!

[ALL]
It's really happening
Truly happening
Almost happening
What is happening?

[TRIX]
I'm Trix the aviatrix
Queen of the sky
I circle through the stratus
In my modern apparatus
I'm Trix, the aviatrix
I've gotta fly
I'll see ya when they tie the knot

[ALL]
A wedding! A wedding!
Hooray![WOMEN]
Ding-a-ling 
[TENORS]
Ding-a-ling 

[BASSES]
Ding-a-ling[MAN IN CHAIR, spoken]
Well there you have it, all the guests have arrived. We have a bride who's giving up the stage for love, her debonair bridegroom, a harried producer, jovial gangsters posing as pastry chefs, a flaky chorine, a Latin lothario, and an aviatrix. And, of course, my favorite character, the Drowsy Chaperone. What more do you need for an evening's entertainment?[ALL]
A wedding, a wedding
A wedding's coming our way!
A wedding, a wedding
Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling
A wedding, a wedding
It's really happening
Truly happening
Almost happening
Surely happening[ALL]
Wedding bells will ring!
Wedding bells will chime!
Wedding bells will celebrate
A happy wedding time
Wedding bells will ding
Wedding bells will dong
Wedding bells will ding-a-ling
And we will ding
Along![TRIX]
How I love
Love a wedding
Yes I love
Love a wedding
Ah!
Listen to those bells

We will ding
Along!