[MAN IN CHAIR, spoken]
Act Two of the Drowsy Chaperone begins with this,

[Starts record.]

A haunting lament from a very depressed bride. Now, when you're listening to this, umm, try to ignore the lyrics. I know it'll be difficult, but block them out. They're not the best, but the tune is beautiful, and it truly communicates the bride's state of mind. Just ignore the lyrics.

[JANET]
I put a monkey on a pedestal
And tried to make that monkey stay
And he did for a time
But he needed to climb
And with other monkeys play
Far away

He left his jacket on that pedestal
Beside his tiny rusty cup
And I haven't got the strength to pick them up
Oh monkey, monkey, monkey
You broke my heart in two
But I'll always save that pedestal
For you
Come my little monkey
Come my little monkey, do

[MAN IN CHAIR, spoken]
The melody is so simple, it just floats in the air. And I must confess I always get a little misty when I think of that tiny jacket, lying on that pedestal, its long sleeves dangling on the floor.
[JANET & MAN IN CHAIR]
Oh, monkey, monkey, monkey

[JANET]
You broke my heart in two
But I'll always save that pedestal

[MAN IN CHAIR]
Pedestal

[JANET]
For you
Come my little monkey
Come my little monkey
Do[MAN IN CHAIR, spoken]
Okay, here we go...

Who are you?

Do you need anyone?

What about the love of one man? 
[JANET, spoken]
Wait!

I'm Janet Van De Graaff!

I don't need anyone!

What do I care about the love of one man when I am adored by millions![JANET]
Do I need to be so gloomy?
No, no, no!
I could rule the world
If so I chose
Sigmund Freud sends flowers to me every show
Gertrude Stein, she handed me a rose! 
[MAN]
No, no, no![MAN IN CHAIR, spoken]
Now she really lets go.

[JANET]
I'm Janet
Janet Van De Graaff
Ain't no nail that I can't hammer
Why give up a life of glamour?
Life of glamour
Life of glamour
Noooooo!!

[CHORUS]
Monkey Monkey

[MAN IN CHAIR, spoken]
I love this part.
[CHORUS]
Monkey Monkey

[MAN IN CHAIR, spoken]
She's having a complete mental breakdown!

[CHORUS]
Monkey Monkey Monkey[JANET]
I'm an accident waiting to happen

I don't want to show off no more

I don't want to spread mirth no more

Be the greatest on earth no more
I don't wanna
I wanna
I don't wanna
I wanna
I don't
I do
I don't
I do
I don't wanna show off 
[CHORUS]
Monkey Monkey Monkey

Monkey Monkey

Monkey Monkey[DROWSY, GEORGE, ALDOLPHO, KITTY, FELDZIEG & GANGSTERS]
Stay Janet, stay Janet
Stay up on the stage, Janet
Millions want to see you shine

[JANET]
And I think sure, Janet, sure, Janet
Future is secured, Janet
Millions will do just fine

But any future I could ever care to shape
Includes just one two timin' cad who drives me ape![CHORUS]
She put a monkey on a pedestal
And tried to make that monkey stay
And he did for a time
But he needed to climb
And with other monkeys play
That's the story of a monkey gone astray!

Monkey Monkey

Monkey Monkey[JANET, spoken]
Oh, Robert, What a fool I've been!
A hapless fool! I know now that I love you
And I've thrown it all away!
I love you, monkey... but is love enough? Is love ever enough?


I ask

The stars

Above
Is it the monkey or my pedestal
I love?