[Intro]
I am 30 and I wearing a tutu of candy
Did I mention that I’m 30?

[Verse 1]
I went the Supercuts and asked them to fuck my head up
And look what this bitch did to me (Ha ha ha, girl you dumb)
I used to make music and dress like a punk
Now looks like a blind stylist dressed me (Yes queen, you look great!)
This video is fucking racist but it’s okay because I’m paying these Asians chicks to dance behind me (We want to kill ourselves)
This is the probably the worst thing I have ever done in my life and I married that Nickelback guy (Ew, ew, gross!)

[Pre-Chorus]
Did I mention that I’m 30?
Yes, I’m fucking 30
And I’m wearing accessories I got from Claire’s
I'm never smiling, 'cause on the inside I’m dying
Please take me out of my misery
No, you have 10 more years

[Chorus 1]
Now it’s time for Dubstep music
Made by a 50 year old white guy
Hey isn’t this what the kids like?
They also like when I butcher Japanese
[Verse 2]
Ching-Chong-Wong-Ching-Chon-Chon-Ding-Dong
That means, "Go buy my new song"
Ding-Ding-Wang-Wang-Ding-Ding-Ding-Chi
That means, "Holy shit, I’m 30"
Holy shit, I’m 30
And I am not married
Old enough to have babies
Oh my God, I’m fucking 30
Oh my God, I’m 30
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God
Midlife breakdown

[Chorus 2]
Look at me, I’m eating sushi
I like to make my eyes all Japanese-y
Ching-Aw-Chow-Chi-Dong-Chi-Dong-Chi
Sure you can have my new CD!

[Outro]
Hey there Miley, Miley, are you jelly, jelly
Of my stupid fucking video?
I made a checklist of all the stupid stuff
You did in yours, and I think we’re tied