To my unborn child

This is a letter that i wrote about the child that i never had
Confessions and regrets i kept inside my chest its time to let 'em hatch
I dont expect to feel like I'm forgiven
Your mother misses you and wishes you were sitting by her side and living
Really I'm to blame mainly it was my decision
I couldn't envision raising a baby and the time was ticking
I ain't justifying my position i was unemployed
Struggling with a life i once enjoyed
I treated you like you was a problem that i want destroyed
Far from being someones father i was just a boy
But enough exuses tired of covering up the bruises
Cherish life can't imagine what I've proven taking another human
You could've been a genius
A blessing sent to bring us everything instead i treated you like you were an inconvenience
And it seemed i felt relieved and glad I had the choice
But I can't help but wonder if you had your daddy's voice
Or got your mommas looks and pretty hair
Its a shame cause at the time i didn't care
Didn't share the same emotions i could grin and bare
Some people sit and pray for life i took for granted damn it isn't fair
I took the chance and interfered with nature's course
I hope the lord looks upon me kindly even though i never show remorse
Im so embarrassed too
Im 24 and immature if i wasn't living off my parents I could care for you
And find a house to buy
And I ain't got a shred of credit and my bank account amount is dry
Sometimes i think I'm just a lousy guy
No doubt in mind if I was more responsible you never would've been allowed to die
Ive said the hows and why's a thousand times
Feeling stupid rapping to you like i knew you that's just how I try
To let it out inside without a cry
Wondering if you lie in heaven when i look across the cloudy sky
I've gotta live with what i did and take the punishment upon my judgment
Im the one who wanted it
You never made any further than your mother's stomach kid
This songs the only way I've ever tried confronting it
I can't correct the past just know your mom regrets it bad
I just wanted to explain myself because i never have
And I know that i could never ask to get you back
Truly yours from the dad you never had
To my unborn child