Tim Minchin
Miracle
[GIRL]
My mummy says I'm a miracle

[BOY]
My daddy says I'm a special little guy

[GIRL]
I am a princess

[BOY]
I am a prince

[GIRLS]
Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky

[BOY]
My daddy says I'm his special little soldier

[BOY]
No one is as bold

[BOYS]
Or tough as me

[BOYS]
Has my daddy told you?
One day when I'm older
I can be a soldier
And punch you in the face!
[PARENTS]
Take another picture of our pumpkin from this angle over here
I know we oughtn't say this, but she's clearly cuter than her peers
What a dear!
Yoo-hoo, honey, look at Mummy!
Try not to vomit on your brother
Now smile for Mummy
Smile for Mother!
I think she blinked
Well, take anothеr!
Have you seen what he can do?
Is that unusual for day two?
Is smiling early not a sign of an еxceptional IQ?
She's just delightful!
So intuitive
So insightful!
Might he be a little brighter than the norm?
I know to say it's frightful form!

[CHILDREN, overlapping with PARENTS]
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day Doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle, as factually spectacularly
Actually miraculously
Fabulous a miracle as me!
[PARENTS, overlapping with CHILDREN]
Take another picture of our pumpkin from this angle over here
I know we oughtn't say this, but she's clearly cuter than her peers
What a dear!
Yoo-hoo, honey, look at Mummy!
Try not to vomit on your brother
Now smile for Mummy
Smile for Mother!
I think she blinked
Well, take another!
Miracle!
Mirror ball!
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle, as factually spectacularly
Actually miraculously
Fabulous a miracle as-

[MRS. WORMWOOD, spoken]
A baby?
I'm not having a baby, what on Earth gives you that idea?
I'm not listenin' to this, this is quackery

[DOCTOR, spoken]
But- you're about to give birth...

[MRS. WORMWOOD, spoken]
Are you out of your mi...
[DOCTOR, spoken]
Mrs. Wormwood, you're having a contraction

[MRS. WORMWOOD, spoken]
I'm not having contractions!
Contractions are for pregnant women...
...who are having ba...
...bies!
I'm having a stinkin' baby!

[DOCTOR, sung]
Every life I bring into this world restores my faith in humankind
Each new-born life, a canvas yet unpainted
This still unbroken skin
Their uncorrupted minds
Every life is unbelievably unlikely
The chances of existence
Almost infinitely small
The most common thing in life is life!
And yet every single life
Every new life is a miracle!

[Chorus]
Miracle!

[MR. WORMWOOD, spoken]
What?

[DOCTOR, spoken]
A girl

[MR. WORMWOOD, spoken]
What, you mean my son is a girl?

[DOCTOR, spoken]
I mean that your DAUGHTER is a girl

[MR. WORMWOOD, spoken]
Yeah- but the 'bloons, Doctor. I mean... The balloons, they say "boy"

[DOCTOR, spoken]
Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just given birth to a beautiful, healthy, happy little girl, she's perfect! This is fantastic news

[MR. WORMWOOD & MRS. WORMWOOD, sung]
Why do bad things always happen to good people?
Fine upstanding citizens like you and me?
Why when we've done nothing wrong
Should this disaster come along?
This horrible-

[DOCTORS]
Miracle!

[MR. WORMWOOD & MRS. WORMWOOD]
Weird looking-

[DOCTORS]
Miracle!

[MRS. WORMWOOD]
Hairy, little stinky thing!

[MR. WORMWOOD]
With no sign of a winky-dink at all!

[DOCTOR]
Every life is a miracle
Every life is a miracle!
Every life is a miracle!

[CHILDREN]
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day Doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle
A miracle as miracle as...

[MATILDA]
My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm
My daddy says I'm a bore
My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ
That kids like me should be against the law
My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole
No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me
Mum says I'm a good case for population control
Dad says I should watch more TV