Tim Minchin
School Song
[HORTENSIA]
Oi, new kids!
And so you think you're able
To survive this mess by
Being a prince or a princess
You will soon see
There's no escaping tragedy
And even if you put in heaps of effort
You're just wasting energy
Cause your life as you know it is ancient history

[CHILDREN]
I have suffered in this jail
Have been trapped inside this
Cage for ages
This living 'ell
But if I try I can remember
Back before my life had ended
Before my happy days werе over
Before I first hеard the
Pealing of the bell
Like you, I was curious
So innocent, I asked a thousand questions
But unless you want to suffer
Listen up and I will teach you
A thing or two
You listen here, my dear
You'll be punished
So severely if you
Step out of line
And if you cry it will be double
You should stay out of trouble
And remember to be extremely careful!
[LAVENDER, spoken]
Why?

[CHILDREN]
Why?!

[PREFECT]
Why? Did you hear what we said?

[CHILDREN]
Just you wait for phys-ed!

[MATILDA, spoken]
What's phys-ed?

[PREFECT, spoken]
Physical education!

[PREFECTS, spoken]
The Trunchbull's speciality

[MATILDA, spoken]
Who are you?

[PREFECT, spoken]
We're prefects
We're here to take you to class
[MATILDA, spoken]
So, we're going to start learning?

[PREFECT, spoken]
Oh, you'll start learning all right

[LAVENDER, spoken]
Great! I already know the alphabet!

[PREFECT, spoken]
You don't know the alphabet until we LEARN you the alphabet

[CHILDREN]
And so you think you're able
To survive this mess by
Being a prince or a princess
You will soon see
There's no escaping tragedy
And even if you put in heaps of effort
You're just wasting energy
Cause your life as you know it is ancient history
I have suffered in this jail
Have been trapped inside this
Cage for ages
This living 'ell
But if I try I can remember
Back before my life had ended
Before my happy days were over
Before I first heard the
Pealing of the bell
Like you, I was curious
So innocent, I asked a thousand questions
But unless you want to suffer
Listen up and I will teach you
A thing or two
You listen here, my dear
You'll be punished
So severely if you
Step out of line
And if you cry it will be double
You should stay out of trouble
And remember to be extremely careful!
[LAVENDER, spoken]
Why?

[CHILDREN]
Why?

[PREFECT, spoken]
Why, didn't you hear what we said?!

[TRUNCHBULL, spoken]
I have become aware that some of you are not yet in class!
Correct this, you have five seconds to comply!
5, 4, 3, 2-

[CHILDREN]
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why!?

[MISS HONEY, spoken]
Lavender, Matilda, inside quick!

[MS. TRUNCHBULL, spoken]
1

[HORTENSIA]
Just you wait for phys-ed!