[Verse 1: Turner]
They've sped up to the point where they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
Plenty of desperation to be seen
Staring at the television screen
They've sped up to the point where they provoke
You to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the joke
Well sorry, sunshine, it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the Top 100 list

[Chorus: Turner]
And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder
Don't be surprised when you get bent over
They told you, but you were dying for it

[Post-Chorus: Helders]
She saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means

[Verse 2: Turner]
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath
That says that "We are defenders of any poser
Or professional pretender around"
[Chorus: Turner]
And when did your list replace the twist and turn
Like a fist replaced a kiss?
Don't concern us with your bollocks, I don't want your prayer
Save it for the morning after

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus: Turner]
And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder
Don't be surprised when you get bent over
They told you, but you were gagging for it

[Bridge: Turner]
Let's have a game on the teddy picker
Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Let's have a game on the teddy picker
Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker

[Outro: Turner]
Presuming that all things are equal
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?