[Intro]
You fuckin' groupie
Pick up the goddamn phone

[Verse 1]
Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday? With who you say?
I wasn't at the studio, bitch, what'd you do? Screw Dre?
You went there lookin' for me? Boo, that excuse is too lame
Keep playin' me, you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg
You fake, lyin' slut, you never told me you knew Drake
And Lupe? You wanna lose two legs?
You tryin' to flip this on me? If I spent more time with you, you say
"Okay, yeah, and I'm coo-coo, eh?" — Well, screw you
And I'll be the third person who screwed you today
Oh, fourth—Dre, Drake, Lupe—ooh, touché
You were too two-faced for me
Thought you was my number one true-blue ace
But you ain't and I can't see you when you make that wittle boo-boo face
'Cause I'm hanging up this phone, boo, you make my fuckin' Bluetooth ache
You're feeling blue? Too late, go smurf yourself
You make me wanna smurf and puke blue Kool Aid
Here's what you say to someone you hate

[Chorus]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And then this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier
If you dropped dead?
I would feel so much, much better
[Verse 2]
Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink
Hop on the freeway tryna get some time alone and just think
'Til the cops pulled me over, but they let me go, 'cause I told 'em
I'm only drivin' drunk 'cause that bitch drove me to drink
I'm back on my fuck hoes, with a whole new hatred for blondes
But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby, come on!
Excuse the pun, but bitch is such a broad statement, and I'm
Channelin' my anger through every single station that's on!
'Cause a woman broke my he-art, I say, "he-art"
'Cause she ripped it in two pa-arts and threw it in the garbage
Who do you think you a-are? Bitch, guess it's time for me to get the dust off
And pick myself up off the carpet
But I'll never say the L-word again
I lo-lo-lo-lo… lesbian!
Aaahhh! I hope you hear this song
And go into a cardiac arrest, my life'd be so much better if you just—

[Chorus]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And then this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier
If you dropped dead?
I would feel so much, much better
[Bridge]
'Cause you told me
You'd love me
Forever
Bitch, that was a lie
Now I never
Wanted someone to die
So bad in my fuckin' life
But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea

[Verse 3]
And I'ma have a whale of a time
Bein' a single sailor for the night, bitch, on a scale of
One to ten, shit, I must be the Holy Grail of
Catches, ho, I got an Oscar attached to my fuckin' name (De La)
I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor-made
For me, say fuck it, kick some shots back, get hammered, and nail her
These bitches tryin' to get attached, but they're failin' to latch onto the tail of
My bumper, they're scratchin' at the back of my trailer
Like I'm itchin' to get hitched, yeah, I'm rich as a bitch
But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch
Bitch, you complain when you listen to this
But you still throw yourself at me: that's what I call pitchin' a bitch
That's why I'm swingin' at this chicks on-site
Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike
So all that love shit is null and void, bitch, I'm a droid
I avoid Cupid, stupid! Wasn't for blow jobs, you'd be unemployed
Oye-yoy-yoy, man-oh-man, your boy-boy-boys
Gettin' sick of these girls-girls-girls, oink-oink-oink
You fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
She's all 99 of 'em, I need a machine gun
I'll take 'em all out, I hope you hear this song
And go into a cardiac arrest, have a heart attack and just
Drop dead, and I'ma throw a fuckin' party after this, 'cause yes
[Chorus]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead (I hate you)
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And then this thought just popped in my head (You made me like this way)
And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier
If you dropped dead? (Bitch)
I would feel so much, much better

[Outro]
I'm just playin', bitch
You know I love you