(Verse 1)
I don't do a whole lot
I like to sit back and smoke pot
Do I like being president
No
It counts as having a job
Now I can't get welfare
How the hell did I get myself here
Just a couple more years
Until my unemployment check clears
Yeah!

(Chorus)
(And I love Michelle)
I came from the ghetto
I guess I'm acting white
(I love Michelle)
But I could bomb anyone I want
At any time
(I love Michelle)
You know I'm kinda fed up
I miss my life of crime
(I love Mi-chelle)
But I guess I don't mind
I get high with Biden
(Verse 2)
You know what's crazy
I never thought I would meet my kids
Let alone raise them
Congress must get my child support checks
I'm not the one that pays them
I could steal a car
Drive it as fast as I want
Take up two parking spaces when I park
And I still won't go behind bars
I'm the president
I could poop on the oval desk
And set a new precedent
And put the turd that I layed for sale on ebay
And get the new Beats by Dre

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
I got a drone in the sky
And a gun in the street
And a blunt in my mouth
And I'm at KFC
And I dont give a fuck about the whole Middle East
I just want hot sauce with whatever I eat
Yeah
These crazy ass Arabs
Raging in them sandy nations
Please don't test my patience
Or else prepare for invasion
I want Middle East peace
We can all shake hands
And plant some trees
Or I can bomb everyone with a smile
And we can close that file
(Chorus)

(Bridge)
Smoke some good trees
Bomb some countries
I'm brown and a Swede
I was born in Zimbabwe
Fi Fa Fo Fum
Eat my scrotum
I got a gun
Give me your funyuns

(Chorus)

(Skit)
Barack:I went to war last night
I was in a fight with Michelle and she was like
Michelle:Boy, you a weak ass wimpy vegan
Lucky if you bomb any countries on weekends
Barack:Who me
Yeah you weak
Only missle you aim is when you take a leak
Barack:But I bombed Afghanistan last week
Michelle:Yeah, you and every Muslim Sheik
You know what
You're just too nice
We'd be safer with President Ray Rice
Barack:Michelle, I'm getting upset
Michelle:What you gonna do
Condemn me at the UN
You never get rough
You're not able
Barack:But the option is always on the table
Michelle:Nyuka, impress a girl
Barack:Fuck it
Goodbye world
I LOVE MICHELLE
(Verse 4)
I must have died
And gone to hell
Cuz everyone here's white
I'd like to call my lawyer
Of just order chicken wings
And Sprite