[Intro]
Well, I was shopping for a dildo, which one's cheap?
The pink and thin or the big black D?
Too bad I didn't know that my ass was so fat
'Cause now I'm walking down the street and the pink one slipped out

[Chorus]
F-R-E-E, that's spells "Free"
R-R-R-R-R-R-Real estate.com, baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about going, but was too lazy
Now instead of kicking back and smoking crack
The bullies found me in the car park and they're laughing at my ass-crack
F-R-E-E, that sounds mean
CreditReport.com, baby