[Verse 1]
Oh, I just love the kind of woman who can walk over a man
And I mean like a god damn marching band
She says, like, literally, music is the air she breathes
And the malaprops make me want to fucking scream
I wonder if she even knows what that word means
Well, it's literally not that

[Verse 2]
Of the few main things I hate about her
One's her petty, vogue ideas
Someone's been told too many times they're beyond their years
By every half-wit of distinction she keeps around
And now every insufferable convo
Features her patiently explaining the cosmos
Of which she's in the middle

[Bridge]
Oh my God, I swear this never happens
Lately, I can't stop the wheels from spinnin'
I feel so unconvincin'
When I fumble with your buttons

[Verse 3]
She blames her excess on my influence
But gladly hoovers all my drugs
I found her naked with her best friend in the tub
We sang "Silent Night" in three parts which was fun
Till she said that she sounds "just like" Sarah Vaughan
I hate that soulful affectation white girls put on
Why don't you move to the Delta?
I obliged later on when you begged me to choke ya